Let’s Talk About Down Time

Last week I had kind of a scare.

How busy are you? Between relationships, jobs, kids, pets, appointments, hobbies, paying bills, making meals, self-care, commuting… where do you fit in to everything? Like, where is there a section of time blocked out for you without kids, pets, deadlines, spouses, bosses, etc.?

Last week I had kind of a scare. I went in for a routine OB-GYN appointment then found out I ultimately have to have a full hysterectomy. Okay, I am 46 years old, I can deal with that. So, we set it up (even though I still need to go for more tests – can you say MONEY GRAB?) and I am scheduled for the end of August. Then, at the end of last week, I had an awful migraine to which nothing would relieve it. I left work early on Friday and had a grueling weekend only to have to go to the ER because I could not stop vomiting and felt like walking death (literally). Well, here, I did not know that feeling the way I did would lead to potassium depletion and that can make a person feel like dogged hell.

So, why am I telling you this? When we get busy we often forget to take care of ourselves. It is so easy to put our health last, to push off eating or forgoing a nap when we are exhausted. Taking care of our bodies is as important as taking care of our minds. I realized that a few days ago as I laid in the hospital on a potassium chloride drip due to potassium depletion that I had some serious decisions to make about my life. And I came up with a few:

  1. It is time for me to get serious about finding work closer to home. We moved three years ago and my current job is 25 – 27 miles from my home. That makes for close to an hour of travel each way. That is ten hours a week travel time and 250 miles a week (12 hours and 300 miles during tax season).
  2. I have to get consistent with my meditation and self-care. I noticed I feel so much better when I meditate and get mindful about my day. One of the terrible things I do is run on autopilot every day. Not a good idea. Also, taking my vitamins and getting in some exercise. I am forty-six years old… the longer I put it off, the worse I feel.
  3. I really have to commit to saying “No.” when I feel it is justified. Sheesh. How many times do I say, “Yeah, sure, I’ll get right on that.” only to regret it immediately and be mad at myself for not sticking up for me. I have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable for a little while in the name of self-care.

The truth is, there is no shame in self-care. If we’re not careful we can exhaust ourselves and for most things that could wait or will go on long after we’re gone (jobs, chores, etc). So do yourself a great thing and take the nap, have that bit of ice-cream, write that book, move to that new place… do what it takes to take care of YOU. You’re the only you there is! I think Dr. Seuss said it best:

Have a blessed day. ❤

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Express Yourself

I have a confession: I was a huge Madonna fan when I was little. I loved her! My mother? Not so much. I once asked for a BOY TOY belt buckle and my mother flipped. I didn’t know what it meant! Still, her belt buckle and slithering ways weren’t what lead me down a path of promiscuity. Despite her being ‘not what everyone thought she should be’ I feel Madonna really set the bar for a lot of women and girls because she had no fear. She did what she wanted (risque at times) and she was good at it.

There has always been this separate set of rules for men and women and people like her have slowly closed the gap. I remember when I was about 25, arguing with someone about promiscuity. Why was/is it okay for men to sleep around but not for women?

Anyway, that is a post for another day.

The point here is, EXPRESS YOURSELF! YES.

Why are many of us so afraid to express ourselves? I was always afraid because my mind doesn’t work like most other minds. Sometimes I believe I am a psychopath with a conscience. I love animals and bugs more than most humans. I love to write about dark and disturbing things. I have tried to write about happy shit, I have tried to love shopping and I have also tried desperately to love the color pink.

Nope.

I love bugs, cars, getting dirty, football, serial killers (their minds, not their actions), abandoned buildings, barns, and farmhouses. I love it all! And I am still looking for a way to express my likes and loves into my art and words.

Here is me expressing myself a couple years ago:

Though I haven’t painted anything in months, I think about it often. I mean, it feels so good sometimes to just let it out! Draw it out, paint it out, write it out, sing it out, dance it out, photograph it out, sketch it out, scream it out.

This post isn’t terribly fantastic (again) but I am on day three with this stupid migraine. The frustration I feel with this thing is palpable and only matched by my sheer annoyance that it is only Thursday.

Have a great day!

via Daily Prompt: Express

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/express/