Poetry Through Recovery

PTR Cover

Well, it’s almost finished… this is the most difficult book I have ever written and I guess that means something. Scheduled for release on Wednesday, October 31, 2018. Halloween, I know… an important festive day in my life.

I had to burrow into my soul to write this as I thought long about how to approach this book. Did I want it to be some woe-is-me chronological account of my life while I was using and getting sober? Or did I want to approach it in a more emotional way so that while I wrote it, I could actually feel what I felt before and during my recovery?

I opted for the latter because I know there are people out there that still struggle with addiction and recovery. A lot of us think and thought that it was supposed to be some cakewalk. Newly clean and sober people see ‘oldheads’ living their lives in some bodacious harmony and sometimes it’s discouraging because that type of living seems a million moons away. But, it isn’t that far away for any of us.

So that is what I touch on in my memoir as a poetic and essay-ic journey through my last year of using into my first year and beyond in recovery. It’s not pretty sometimes and it’s not supposed to be.

…it’s never too late for a second chance…

Present the Present

fly-agaric-4838_960_720

Here I am

Scarred, bruised; a little broken

But my present is the present

Gone are the moments of moments ago

Lost is the pain that gripped me so snug

Right now is a gift that keeps giving

I can’t go back – cannot go forward

Always in the present moment.

https://fivedotoh.com/2018/07/17/fowc-with-fandango-present/

Image: pixabay

Zen and the Art of Being

36689293_10212054343541854_3045889719972921344_n
©2018 DAMGarrity

I took this picture yesterday at the Lehigh River. This first stack of Zen Rocks I ever made was a therapeutic moment in my life. It took only minutes, but I learned a lot.

One, even though there was activity all around me (people conversing, kids playing in the river, my husband talking nearby as he did his own thing) I remained intently focused on my task at hand. Once I finished my zen rocks and sat quietly for a few minutes, I readjusted to the reality around me, pulled out my cellphone and snapped this picture.

There were other zen rocks around me that I appreciated and nodded at as I walked the brief shoreline of the river. There were so many people sitting in chairs in the river, splashing about and sitting on towels in the dirt eating lunch. The energy was incredible and I inhaled all that energy in the oxygen around me, paused, then exhaled every tense fiber of my being. It was in that moment, I finally learned what it meant to JUST BE.

My husband and I did other things that day, too. We walked on the Appalachian Trail briefly yesterday and realized a few things: one, the trail is no joke (we would watch a documentary later that night about the AT and find out we did alright considering the Pennsylvania terrain). Number two, if you really want to do something, you just have to freaking do it.

What am I sitting around waiting for? All these wasted days of worry and fretting over shit that either hasn’t happened yet or has happened and I can’t change does me no good. After we got home yesterday, we took quick little power naps, made coffee, had some burgers and dogs, watched fireworks and then put on a documentary about the AT and were so inspired by these people who left their daily lives to just go BE. These people who I am sure had jobs, ideas – life in some town somewhere in the world – gave most of it or even all of it up to go live on the AT and hike (mostly by foot) from Georgia to Maine or Maine to Georgia.

This morning, I awoke to the sun beaming through my bedroom window and as I did my normal morning routine, felt more peaceful than I ever did before. I did my morning meditation with more conviction, I journaled, I got my coffee, watched the weather, then left for work after I kissed my husband ‘see you later.’

I just feel different today; I feel more hopeful. I have direction and plan on using it to steer me exactly where I want to be.

Blessed be.

 

 

The Last Daily Prompt

bible-3370021_960_720Retrospective is the final prompt which apparently at one time was afterthought if you look at the link, but oh well. I am going to miss the Daily Prompt not only because sometimes I am at a loss for ideas on what to write about, but because I met so many cool people, found some cool blogs and gained a shit ton of followers. I noticed, too, that when I don’t link to an outside source my blog gets way fewer hits.

Most of the blogs I follow are in the reader, which I love. I can go to the reader and find my favorite followed blogs and also put in certain words for new blogs to follow. For example, if I type in the word retrospective, I might find some great blogs I normally would never find. Or maybe I type the word river, or just click on any one of the different keywords in my follower to see who has what to write today. Some of my keywords are related to mental health because I love to read about people overcoming obstacles.

So, this is our last shot at going to one page to find our friends or blogs we love to see in that gaggle of squares on The Daily Post page. I will keep looking for a similar format to join without having to join anything… that was kind of the beauty of this. There was no pressure… no email, or reminder. If I wanted to go to the page and write about the prompt, I could. I didn’t have to do anything. All I needed was a WordPress blog and to link back to the page.

Let’s not be strangers… get on WordPress, go to that followed blogs page and see all the wonder bestowed upon you. Click on some random keywords and find something worth reading… maybe you’ll find a new daily prompt. I know I’ll be looking.

Thanks for checking out my words… Blessed Be. ❤

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/afterthought/

Bitter Cold (Infected) – from Poetry Through Heartbreak

lavender-1891351_960_720.jpg

Frigid hearts and frozen tongues

The metamorphosis of time echoes

Like a dark and twisted sunrise

It lingers

Inside the dreams of the broken

I went to the crick today

And stared across the edge

I thought of you

And how I felt

My sigh so despondent

The trees stopped dancing

And then the nothing

it stood and stared back

Right into my core

Like a sketchy sigh

©2018 DAMGarrity

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/infect/

Infect

Pedigree and 500 Posts

post-milestone-500-2x

Apparently, I have written over 500 posts here on DAMSWriter. Wowee! This blog started out as The Daily Woman shortly after I got sober in 2006 and then become a few other things before I watched a video of Jeff Goins regarding branding.

So, I took a page out of his book and named my blog DAMSWriter. So, here I am over 500 posts later and still not where I want to be, but making deliberate steps to be where I want to be by pretending I am already there.

When I hear the word pedigree, I don’t think of family, or genealogy, or inherited traits. I think of dog food. Whether it is for pedigree dogs or not is irrelevant, but being called Pedigree implies that it is the best dog in town.

I want my blog to be the best blog in town. I want my books to be the best books in town. I want to have to wear sunglasses on an overcast day because if I don’t, people will recognize me. And hey, that is cool and all, but not when I am trying to go to Walmart to buy some soap (hey, famous people need simple things, too).

When I think of pedigree, I think of things that are so pure and pristine that even the biggest microscope could not pinpoint a single flaw in any of it. Bah, now that’s just insane.

Truthfully, I am having a hard time coming up with anything substantial to write these past weeks (if you regularly follow this blog, you may have had an inkling of this based on content) and I am pretending that it isn’t freaking me out. My mind is always turning and sadly, most of it is nothing useful. LOL, I am working on that, too.

Change the way you think and you change the way you feel.

I am giving everything to my higher power and going about my days. ❤ I have faith that everything is going exactly the way it is supposed to go. Because, if it were going any other way, it wouldn’t be my life.

What do you think of when you hear the word pedigree? Do you think of family? Royalty? Pristine things? Dog food?

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/pedigree/

Slight Shift

torrent-3236371_960_720

Let me just start by saying:

I am not crazy.

Happy Monday and all that… I have been reading and watching a lot of books, articles, and videos about the Law of Attraction because I feel like something is holding me back. Well, it turns out, I’m right. There is something holding me back:

Me.

Now, I am taking steps to shift my thinking: slight, deliberate steps and already see things changing. A girl gave me a book about it over ten years ago and I had chucked it on my I’ll never read this pile.

Now, I am reading it like it is the map to the Ark of the Covenant… and it kind of feels that way.  I am excited about life every day.

I’ve tried talking to a few people about this, and most look at me as if a second head is literally sprouting from my ear. Maybe there is?

All those annoying quotes about life being what you make it, I think therefore I am, I am what I hang around, etc., well, it turns out it is all true. And I am thrilled to know more and more people each day that are hopping on this train. I can’t imagine what the world would be like if everyone followed their bliss.

Shift your perception.

It would be heaven on earth.

Just follow your bliss.

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/slight/

Rapid Release

27073040_10210980259730430_679581745426597273_n
©2018 DAMSteelman

Yesterday was the first day that I let go

Today is the first that no one will know

How did I get from there to here

How did it all just disappear

A rapid release, like a blur in the dark

All around me cold and stark

Where is my crystal mountain?

Where is all that they said I done?

Never was never forever for me

That’s just something I wish you could see

There’s always that tinge of self-respect

Drowned out black by self-regret

Today I’ll remember this stark, cold rhyme

As I walk that final cold, red line

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/rapid/