I signed up for my first ever Author Event in my community. I cried tears of joy after I read the official email. It’s called Quakertown Alive! and it takes place in the middle of town. There is an Author’s Corner, food vendors, craft vendors, activities, etc. I am super excited.
On top of that, I started my last semester at community college. After this, I will have my Associate’s Degree in Liberal Arts!
As I continue to write Poetry through Recovery, I realize so many of these wonderful things in my life wouldn’t be possible without my sobriety. Painful to write but oh so necessary. Part of the way we get to keep our recovery and sobriety is to give it away.
When I first got sober my life was a multi-car trainwreck and I never thought I’d ever get my shit together. I am just living proof that even the biggest fuckups can put together a semblance of a life and live true to their soul.
If you’re in the area, please stop by and see me! I will be selling and signing books… plus giving away some fun gifts.
Well, it’s almost finished… this is the most difficult book I have ever written and I guess that means something. Scheduled for release on Wednesday, October 31, 2018. Halloween, I know… an important festive day in my life.
I had to burrow into my soul to write this as I thought long about how to approach this book. Did I want it to be some woe-is-me chronological account of my life while I was using and getting sober? Or did I want to approach it in a more emotional way so that while I wrote it, I could actually feel what I felt before and during my recovery?
I opted for the latter because I know there are people out there that still struggle with addiction and recovery. A lot of us think and thought that it was supposed to be some cakewalk. Newly clean and sober people see ‘oldheads’ living their lives in some bodacious harmony and sometimes it’s discouraging because that type of living seems a million moons away. But, it isn’t that far away for any of us.
So that is what I touch on in my memoir as a poetic and essay-ic journey through my last year of using into my first year and beyond in recovery. It’s not pretty sometimes and it’s not supposed to be.
I took this picture yesterday at the Lehigh River. This first stack of Zen Rocks I ever made was a therapeutic moment in my life. It took only minutes, but I learned a lot.
One, even though there was activity all around me (people conversing, kids playing in the river, my husband talking nearby as he did his own thing) I remained intently focused on my task at hand. Once I finished my zen rocks and sat quietly for a few minutes, I readjusted to the reality around me, pulled out my cellphone and snapped this picture.
There were other zen rocks around me that I appreciated and nodded at as I walked the brief shoreline of the river. There were so many people sitting in chairs in the river, splashing about and sitting on towels in the dirt eating lunch. The energy was incredible and I inhaled all that energy in the oxygen around me, paused, then exhaled every tense fiber of my being. It was in that moment, I finally learned what it meant to JUST BE.
My husband and I did other things that day, too. We walked on the Appalachian Trail briefly yesterday and realized a few things: one, the trail is no joke (we would watch a documentary later that night about the AT and find out we did alright considering the Pennsylvania terrain). Number two, if you really want to do something, you just have to freaking do it.
What am I sitting around waiting for? All these wasted days of worry and fretting over shit that either hasn’t happened yet or has happened and I can’t change does me no good. After we got home yesterday, we took quick little power naps, made coffee, had some burgers and dogs, watched fireworks and then put on a documentary about the AT and were so inspired by these people who left their daily lives to just go BE. These people who I am sure had jobs, ideas – life in some town somewhere in the world – gave most of it or even all of it up to go live on the AT and hike (mostly by foot) from Georgia to Maine or Maine to Georgia.
This morning, I awoke to the sun beaming through my bedroom window and as I did my normal morning routine, felt more peaceful than I ever did before. I did my morning meditation with more conviction, I journaled, I got my coffee, watched the weather, then left for work after I kissed my husband ‘see you later.’
I just feel different today; I feel more hopeful. I have direction and plan on using it to steer me exactly where I want to be.
Retrospective is the final prompt which apparently at one time was afterthought if you look at the link, but oh well. I am going to miss the Daily Prompt not only because sometimes I am at a loss for ideas on what to write about, but because I met so many cool people, found some cool blogs and gained a shit ton of followers. I noticed, too, that when I don’t link to an outside source my blog gets way fewer hits.
Most of the blogs I follow are in the reader, which I love. I can go to the reader and find my favorite followed blogs and also put in certain words for new blogs to follow. For example, if I type in the word retrospective, I might find some great blogs I normally would never find. Or maybe I type the word river, or just click on any one of the different keywords in my follower to see who has what to write today. Some of my keywords are related to mental health because I love to read about people overcoming obstacles.
So, this is our last shot at going to one page to find our friends or blogs we love to see in that gaggle of squares on The Daily Post page. I will keep looking for a similar format to join without having to join anything… that was kind of the beauty of this. There was no pressure… no email, or reminder. If I wanted to go to the page and write about the prompt, I could. I didn’t have to do anything. All I needed was a WordPress blog and to link back to the page.
Let’s not be strangers… get on WordPress, go to that followed blogs page and see all the wonder bestowed upon you. Click on some random keywords and find something worth reading… maybe you’ll find a new daily prompt. I know I’ll be looking.