Do You See What I See?

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2018 is about to say goodnight and that is just fine by me. It has been a topsy-turvy year for me and the hubs. I’m still at my day job but made a mental note and commitment to myself to be out of here by June 2019. My hubster is still doing great over at Time Spiral Tattoo Studio in Quakertown. I know it is still two weeks before it is officially 2019, but I just wanted to go over a few things.

a) Don’t give up on your dreams. This year I finally decided to self-publish my books and while I am still not generating sales, I feel good about my choice. The future is in the eye of the beholder. Most people who try to talk you out of things only do so because they lack the courage to go for it in their own lives. Surround yourself with formidable people who want the best for you.

b) It is so okay to say NO. Make a commitment to yourself to be your own best friend and do what is best for you. Say no once in a while. Say no as much as it calms your soul. We weren’t put on this earth to work at soul-crushing jobs, be around toxic people, or kill ourselves with addictions. Find out what your mind, body, and soul need and go after it. Get rid of any clutter that weighs you down.

c) You’re only as great as you think you are.  I studied so much this year about the Law of Attraction, self-love, and being in the moment and I have to say, it has been mind-blowing. I am still working on a few things, but I did happen to instantly manifest a couple things (a Judas Priest t-shirt once and also money). I have suffered from low self-esteem for most of my life and I learned this year that my poor self-image stemmed from caring too much about what other people think. I had to believe it for me.

My full-length novel Consequences will be out in 2019 and I am so excited for everyone to read it. I am still debating on a sequel but haven’t quite nailed that down. Maybe I’ll turn my latest project into something related to it. We’ll see.

And finally, people are buying Poetry through Recovery which is awesome.  I hope it helps anyone who reads it. Take care of yourself and remember to love yourself first!

*Peace*

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Poetry through Recovery – Out Now!

Hi everyone… Hope you had a great Halloween. Mine was awesome as I gave out candy and scared children with my creepy rabbit mask.

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Me in Creepy Rabbit Mask

I am writing to let you know that Poetry through Recovery is now available. Yes! I am excited to bring this to you. It is essays and poetry, so a little different than my previous poetry books. If you download or purchase a copy, please leave a review. Reviews are how books climb the charts to that coveted #1 spot.

Thank you for continuing to subscribe to my blog here and as always thank you so much for taking the time to read my ramblings.

This is the third and final book in the Through Series as I am currently shopping around Consequences and working on another NaNoWriMo project! …always have to have a lot going on. 🙂

This past week I attended two places to sell and sign books which were nice experiences. The first was the Quakertown Alive! and the second was kind of last minute at the Barnes and Noble in Easton. It was a Halloween theme, but there weren’t enough writers, so they let me and a few others attend. Which worked out, because I met some great people, and that’s what it’s all about. Connecting with other humans. I missed the mark on getting into the Quakertown BookFest but only because I didn’t know about it. They put me on a list in case someone doesn’t show, so I have my fingers crossed.

Well, Happy All Saints Day if you’re Christian or All Hallows Day if you’re not. Keep up the great work. ❤

One Step Closer

2Hi everyone… I have been away for a while and I am sorry for that. I started my last semester at college, am working on the finalization of Poetry through Recovery and… well, see that picture? That is my cover for my first full-length novel which will have a release date very soon!

I got a few more rejections from some publishers and literary agents, but I am not giving up. I have faith in this story and the writing style. I love this story and know that because I love it, this book will be a huge success.

In other news, one of my personal essays was accepted into an anthology for 2019! I am super excited about this and will release more information when I get it.

I think about all the times I ever wanted to give up on myself; all the times that I felt like everyone gave up on me. All those times I was so close to suicide and not being able to find one reason to hold on. Still, somehow I forced myself to wait one more day, one more hour, one more moment and I am so glad I did. Look at everything I would have missed!

Never ever give up on yourself. You are on this planet for a reason, and that reason might not be known to you in your moment of darkness, but know that there is one. When we are in darkness, we obviously can see no light, but it is always there, waiting for us to reach out and let it touch our heart and hope.

Have an awesome day and stay true to yourself. ❤

My First Author Event

The Growing Power Of Social MediaYes! I can’t believe it but it is true.

I signed up for my first ever Author Event in my community. I cried tears of joy after I read the official email. It’s called Quakertown Alive! and it takes place in the middle of town. There is an Author’s Corner, food vendors, craft vendors, activities, etc. I am super excited.

On top of that, I started my last semester at community college. After this, I will have my Associate’s Degree in Liberal Arts!

As I continue to write Poetry through Recovery, I realize so many of these wonderful things in my life wouldn’t be possible without my sobriety. Painful to write but oh so necessary. Part of the way we get to keep our recovery and sobriety is to give it away.

When I first got sober my life was a multi-car trainwreck and I never thought I’d ever get my shit together. I am just living proof that even the biggest fuckups can put together a semblance of a life and live true to their soul.

If you’re in the area, please stop by and see me! I will be selling and signing books… plus giving away some fun gifts.

Poetry Through Recovery

PTR Cover

Well, it’s almost finished… this is the most difficult book I have ever written and I guess that means something. Scheduled for release on Wednesday, October 31, 2018. Halloween, I know… an important festive day in my life.

I had to burrow into my soul to write this as I thought long about how to approach this book. Did I want it to be some woe-is-me chronological account of my life while I was using and getting sober? Or did I want to approach it in a more emotional way so that while I wrote it, I could actually feel what I felt before and during my recovery?

I opted for the latter because I know there are people out there that still struggle with addiction and recovery. A lot of us think and thought that it was supposed to be some cakewalk. Newly clean and sober people see ‘oldheads’ living their lives in some bodacious harmony and sometimes it’s discouraging because that type of living seems a million moons away. But, it isn’t that far away for any of us.

So that is what I touch on in my memoir as a poetic and essay-ic journey through my last year of using into my first year and beyond in recovery. It’s not pretty sometimes and it’s not supposed to be.

…it’s never too late for a second chance…

Present the Present

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Here I am

Scarred, bruised; a little broken

But my present is the present

Gone are the moments of moments ago

Lost is the pain that gripped me so snug

Right now is a gift that keeps giving

I can’t go back – cannot go forward

Always in the present moment.

https://fivedotoh.com/2018/07/17/fowc-with-fandango-present/

Image: pixabay

Zen and the Art of Being

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©2018 DAMGarrity

I took this picture yesterday at the Lehigh River. This first stack of Zen Rocks I ever made was a therapeutic moment in my life. It took only minutes, but I learned a lot.

One, even though there was activity all around me (people conversing, kids playing in the river, my husband talking nearby as he did his own thing) I remained intently focused on my task at hand. Once I finished my zen rocks and sat quietly for a few minutes, I readjusted to the reality around me, pulled out my cellphone and snapped this picture.

There were other zen rocks around me that I appreciated and nodded at as I walked the brief shoreline of the river. There were so many people sitting in chairs in the river, splashing about and sitting on towels in the dirt eating lunch. The energy was incredible and I inhaled all that energy in the oxygen around me, paused, then exhaled every tense fiber of my being. It was in that moment, I finally learned what it meant to JUST BE.

My husband and I did other things that day, too. We walked on the Appalachian Trail briefly yesterday and realized a few things: one, the trail is no joke (we would watch a documentary later that night about the AT and find out we did alright considering the Pennsylvania terrain). Number two, if you really want to do something, you just have to freaking do it.

What am I sitting around waiting for? All these wasted days of worry and fretting over shit that either hasn’t happened yet or has happened and I can’t change does me no good. After we got home yesterday, we took quick little power naps, made coffee, had some burgers and dogs, watched fireworks and then put on a documentary about the AT and were so inspired by these people who left their daily lives to just go BE. These people who I am sure had jobs, ideas – life in some town somewhere in the world – gave most of it or even all of it up to go live on the AT and hike (mostly by foot) from Georgia to Maine or Maine to Georgia.

This morning, I awoke to the sun beaming through my bedroom window and as I did my normal morning routine, felt more peaceful than I ever did before. I did my morning meditation with more conviction, I journaled, I got my coffee, watched the weather, then left for work after I kissed my husband ‘see you later.’

I just feel different today; I feel more hopeful. I have direction and plan on using it to steer me exactly where I want to be.

Blessed be.