Last Impression

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/impression/
©  2017 DAMSteelman

 

When I was younger, I had the impression that I really mattered and I’d grow up to be a five-star lawyer living in New Hope, PA with a cat and four sports cars (or a sports car and four cats).

When I was naive, I had the impression that I sort of mattered and that my husband loved me and that we’d build a great home with a wonderful family and grow old together.

When I was broken, I had the impression that I didn’t matter and that my life was a trainwreck because of everyone else including that abusive husband from all those years ago.

When I became hopeful, I got the impression that I was worth saving… maybe.

When I became determined, I got the impression that with hard work and determination, I could trudge forward and still live my dream.

When I became confident, I got the impression that I woke up today with eleven years clean and sober and that anything is possible. I am married to an amazing man and am going after my dreams.

I now have the impression that I am an amazing human being capable of anything.

Do what it takes and do it well.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/impression/

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Daily Post: Catapulted

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There was no way I could see the future

I couldn’t know that I would be here

Now

Suddenly

Catapulted into the moonlit darkness

Just me and my morbid thoughts

The eyes they still follow me

The screams still surround me

I need to hit the ground

So I can leak into the sun

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/catapult/

Waking Darkness

darkness before dawn
Image: hal-pc.org

Stuffed down in the dark, cobwebbed dirt

That’s where I bury the pain, loss and hurt,

I’ll never be that version of me again

Sometimes it’s easier to let the demons win,

Don’t you worry your pretty little head

There’s more than one way for us to be dead,

Sure I’m breathing but am I truly alive

It’s just an adaptation of conscious suicide,

Some days are a struggle from my first waking breath

And it’s all I can do not to hate myself to death…

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/final/

Daily Post: Reflecting

Reflecting

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How much reflecting can I really do? The number of people I have lost in my life to suicide is staggering. The number of strangers I’ve lost just the same. Sure, I never knew Chris Cornell, Prince, Kurt… any of them personally. But so what? They shared their deepest feelings with me. They bared their broken and bloody souls and I screamed back, cried back, roared back “I hear you. I get it. I feel the same way.”

But their pain was their pain and my pain is my pain. We never really know what someone is truly going through.

R.I.P.

 

Daily Prompt – Bitter

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Bitter. What is bitter? Anything I believe is bitter. It’s all in my head; it’s all in my mind. If I want life to be bitter, it will be bitter. If I want life to be sweet, it will be sweet. It really is that simple.

Bitter. A taste, a smell, a feeling.

Bitter apple.

Bitter meat.

Bitter air.

Sweet. A taste, a smell, a feeling.

Sweet apple pie.

Sweet Jerky meat.

Sweet honeysuckle air.

Bitter? Not me, not today… my bitter days are done.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/bitter/