Good morning, everyone. How are things going for you? Happy Summer Solstice. Daylight has been creeping in each day and now it will be with us for the longest time of the year on this day. Hopefully, you find yourself outdoors on this fine day no matter the weather. Nature makes everything better.
I am halfway through my final edits on Consequences. I even have a book cover! Check it out:
I am so excited! I have picked this cover to have my bases covered… I am opting to traditionally publish my book, although these days it is harder moreso than it used to be. I won’t give up! 🙂
In other news, I am practicing mindfulness and also NOT watching the news or anything like it. I wish everyone knew what all this negative bullshit does to the mind, body, and soul. Unless you have the means and are actually going to do something about it, there is no point in getting all worked up and shitty over something. Also, the media has a great track record of blowing things out of proportion with fear mongering. Stop falling for it. I have limited my Social Media use. After my stomach being in knots yesterday, I decided news pages, tv news and any kind of news is bad for me. I cannot contribute to my life or mother earth if I am in a poor state of mind. In essence, the only thing I can control is me. I mean, how many times have you ever changed someone’s mind by incessant nagging, really.
So, I am on a quest for self-absolution and inner zen. I did great this morning with a ‘mindful driving meditation.’ The trick is not so much to be happy all the time but to just be, period. Happiness is awesome, yes. But to just be and settle down into calm is the key. I need to stay in the mellow to happy zone and stay clear of anything on the backside of the middle. These days that can be difficult! But, I really want this. Each day I get a little closer to where I want to be by appreciating where I am in the moment. That’s the trick I heard. In order to get closer to the things we want, we have to be grateful for what we have, and I truly am. I meditate each morning and make a list of all the things I am grateful for. It sets my mood each time…
Have an awesome first day of summer! Blessed be. ❤
I might be guilty of bragging, but that’s fine. Some things are worth bragging about every day. Being clean and sober is one of them. It might be difficult to understand if you’ve never been on the giving or receiving end of this type of hell. That makes you fortunate.
But, I am fortunate, too.
I am fortunate to have been through hell and come out filthy on the other side. I went through all that shit to make me a stronger person and to help others get through their own version of hell.
That is what this life is all about. Helping others. I don’t get to give up because as much as I might want to, or as much as I might feel my life is all my own and that it is no one else’s business what I do, that is an inaccurate statement.
I am doing this whole Law of Attraction thing and though it feels like nothing is giving and nothing is sparkly, I am learning that I am still on my path. I am learning that despite once feeling guilty about everything that ever happened to me, I am okay. I am the master of my universe. I am the creator of my life. I have a vibration that attracts things. The essence of that which is like unto itself is drawn.
I used to write about my sobriety here but stopped because I was busy with other things and there were already so many great websites and blogs about living sober I figured I would be better off helping people in other ways, and so I did.
If you are going through it, keep going. You’re going to be okay. If you need help and have to where to turn, go to one of these links to get started. AANA
I have been studying Abraham Hicks and Rhonda Byrne and all of the other greats regarding manifesting and centering on my well being and I have to say, it is helping me a lot. This has been four days in a row now that I have kept my cool and centered myself in times of challenge, and in times of challenge, I mean driving in rush hour traffic. Okay, so other areas as well, but with an hour long drive (one way) to work each day, it was getting annoying and now I have figured out a way to just let shit be what it is and detach from the outcome.
I am also learning that my energy is a direct reason for the shit that surrounds me. I know that might sound preposterous to some, but for me, it is working. I can’t say that I never feel any type of negative emotion, but I am learning how to let it pass through me instead of camping out in my being.
Today is May 2nd and although I started this new journey in April, I am counting each day in May to see how I feel on May 31.
I passed both my classes in school, so now I only need six more credits to get my Associate’s in Art.
I can now dedicate my time to writing my fourth book while going over edits for my first one.
I am excited about life! ❤ Have a wonderful day! There is a poem below.
So, I was sitting at my desk trying to figure out what to do next and it hit me like a baseball in the sun. Write about my journey through addiction and recovery. Not the whole thing mind you, parts are pretty boring, but some aren’t. The last year of my addiction and pieces of my recovery are insane, funny and downright heartbreaking.
I mean, I wrote most of my story once, but the whole thing in itself really isn’t fit for human consumption, so this time, on a second go around, I decided to share some of the gritty parts.
People love gritty parts.
Yes, it is called Poetry Through Recovery, but it won’t be all poetry. There will be some personal essays and some funny anecdotes. Just real shit that could maybe help a trainwrecked soul like myself. I did a survey a while back and most people seemed to want to hear about a piece of my life that revolved around living at a place called The Wagon Wheel when I was an eighteen-year-old pregnant mother of two with a crackhead husband.
Trust me, that story is coming. But for some reason, I feel like I need to write this other one first. There is kind of a parallel there, so to speak. When I lived at the Wagon Wheel, I was sober, but living among drunks, addicts, and absolute chaos. Fast forward ten years and it was the same old story, except now I was the drunk asshole. Stories like this – like my story – help people. Maybe I’ll lace Poetry Through Recovery with pieces of the Wagon Wheel. At this point, I feel like I have to.
It’s the only way it’ll all make sense. And sometimes, we need shit to make sense.