Hi everyone… I have been away for a while and I am sorry for that. I started my last semester at college, am working on the finalization of Poetry through Recovery and… well, see that picture? That is my cover for my first full-length novel which will have a release date very soon!
I got a few more rejections from some publishers and literary agents, but I am not giving up. I have faith in this story and the writing style. I love this story and know that because I love it, this book will be a huge success.
In other news, one of my personal essays was accepted into an anthology for 2019! I am super excited about this and will release more information when I get it.
I think about all the times I ever wanted to give up on myself; all the times that I felt like everyone gave up on me. All those times I was so close to suicide and not being able to find one reason to hold on. Still, somehow I forced myself to wait one more day, one more hour, one more moment and I am so glad I did. Look at everything I would have missed!
Never ever give up on yourself. You are on this planet for a reason, and that reason might not be known to you in your moment of darkness, but know that there is one. When we are in darkness, we obviously can see no light, but it is always there, waiting for us to reach out and let it touch our heart and hope.
Have an awesome day and stay true to yourself. ❤
Good morning, everyone. How are things going for you? Happy Summer Solstice. Daylight has been creeping in each day and now it will be with us for the longest time of the year on this day. Hopefully, you find yourself outdoors on this fine day no matter the weather. Nature makes everything better.
I am halfway through my final edits on Consequences. I even have a book cover! Check it out:
I am so excited! I have picked this cover to have my bases covered… I am opting to traditionally publish my book, although these days it is harder moreso than it used to be. I won’t give up! 🙂
In other news, I am practicing mindfulness and also NOT watching the news or anything like it. I wish everyone knew what all this negative bullshit does to the mind, body, and soul. Unless you have the means and are actually going to do something about it, there is no point in getting all worked up and shitty over something. Also, the media has a great track record of blowing things out of proportion with fear mongering. Stop falling for it. I have limited my Social Media use. After my stomach being in knots yesterday, I decided news pages, tv news and any kind of news is bad for me. I cannot contribute to my life or mother earth if I am in a poor state of mind. In essence, the only thing I can control is me. I mean, how many times have you ever changed someone’s mind by incessant nagging, really.
So, I am on a quest for self-absolution and inner zen. I did great this morning with a ‘mindful driving meditation.’ The trick is not so much to be happy all the time but to just be, period. Happiness is awesome, yes. But to just be and settle down into calm is the key. I need to stay in the mellow to happy zone and stay clear of anything on the backside of the middle. These days that can be difficult! But, I really want this. Each day I get a little closer to where I want to be by appreciating where I am in the moment. That’s the trick I heard. In order to get closer to the things we want, we have to be grateful for what we have, and I truly am. I meditate each morning and make a list of all the things I am grateful for. It sets my mood each time…
Have an awesome first day of summer! Blessed be. ❤
I might be guilty of bragging, but that’s fine. Some things are worth bragging about every day. Being clean and sober is one of them. It might be difficult to understand if you’ve never been on the giving or receiving end of this type of hell. That makes you fortunate.
But, I am fortunate, too.
I am fortunate to have been through hell and come out filthy on the other side. I went through all that shit to make me a stronger person and to help others get through their own version of hell.
That is what this life is all about. Helping others. I don’t get to give up because as much as I might want to, or as much as I might feel my life is all my own and that it is no one else’s business what I do, that is an inaccurate statement.
I am doing this whole Law of Attraction thing and though it feels like nothing is giving and nothing is sparkly, I am learning that I am still on my path. I am learning that despite once feeling guilty about everything that ever happened to me, I am okay. I am the master of my universe. I am the creator of my life. I have a vibration that attracts things. The essence of that which is like unto itself is drawn.
I used to write about my sobriety here but stopped because I was busy with other things and there were already so many great websites and blogs about living sober I figured I would be better off helping people in other ways, and so I did.
If you are going through it, keep going. You’re going to be okay. If you need help and have to where to turn, go to one of these links to get started. AA NA
Screams, so decrepit
Disappear into the light
Breathe, never again
A life riddled
With awkward moments
So many tales
Tears and laughter
Grief and satisfaction
Photogenic reminiscences of a life endured
Of love suffered
Moments of agony wrapped in splendor
Only awkward felt reasonable
Oh how I wanted to love you
Long and lonely like a lost sunbeam
You floated by
Like a wish in the sky
I was blatant and early
You were shameful and hollow
There were too many shadows
Not enough heart
So we picked up our scabs
Jogged back to start
Our premature nature
Soaked in a private endeavor
Now we’ve bled apart
I have been studying Abraham Hicks and Rhonda Byrne and all of the other greats regarding manifesting and centering on my well being and I have to say, it is helping me a lot. This has been four days in a row now that I have kept my cool and centered myself in times of challenge, and in times of challenge, I mean driving in rush hour traffic. Okay, so other areas as well, but with an hour long drive (one way) to work each day, it was getting annoying and now I have figured out a way to just let shit be what it is and detach from the outcome.
I am also learning that my energy is a direct reason for the shit that surrounds me. I know that might sound preposterous to some, but for me, it is working. I can’t say that I never feel any type of negative emotion, but I am learning how to let it pass through me instead of camping out in my being.
Today is May 2nd and although I started this new journey in April, I am counting each day in May to see how I feel on May 31.
I passed both my classes in school, so now I only need six more credits to get my Associate’s in Art.
I can now dedicate my time to writing my fourth book while going over edits for my first one.
I am excited about life! ❤ Have a wonderful day! There is a poem below.
You left without a look
As you spoke without a word
Twisted and tormented
I seized the moment
Screamed your name
Hopped inside your soul
Together we can fall
Into this or nothing at all