Checkin’ In

 

hello-1379252_960_720

Good afternoon, y’all. Since the dismantling of the daily post, I find that I haven’t much to post here. I am still working on edits for the book and also my third poetry book which I have pushed back twice now. Well, my husband has been in the process of opening his own tattoo shop and I have been helping out, so there is that, too.

My vacation was supposed to be this week, but last week just made more sense. I had plans to be home every day, catching up on reading and writing, but life always happens and I am cool with that.

I’ve also been studying the Law of Attraction which seems to be making so much sense. I never looked at the things that have happened to me in my life as being my fault. They were always someone else’s fault, but the more I study and look back on everything, I can see where my mood/attitude directly affected my state of mind and surroundings.

On the book, I have hit a literary (not literal) wall. I had all these plans to write all these wonderful things and help people with my stories and poetry of getting through my hell called addiction, and I just cannot think of any two words that flow.

Yes, I still plan on publishing, but most likely in July. Right now, I am working on discipline. Truthfully, I am lazy as hell, and I suck at discipline. The only time I am good at discipline is when my life is on the line, or I am super pissed off. But I am trying not to be pissed off all the time because it hinders my well-being.

So, I keep watching videos, reading books, and putting the tools to practice. So far, I do feel better and am dismissing things that previously annoyed the shit out of me. I am watching and reading a lot of Abraham Hicks stuff and noticed there are a lot of celebrities who have put these tools to practice! And take a look at their lives! Holy crap.

My biggest hang up is believing I am worthy of success. Sometimes I am pretty hard on myself, but lately, I have been catching my thoughts and switching them to a more positive stream. It says to give it thirty days, and it has been about eighteen. But I am feeling better.

It’s all a state of mind…

 

Advertisements

Relocate or Rearrange

relocate
Image: searchhomesinnashville.com

 

There is a fresh feeling in starting over. Shucking the dead weight of the past can invigorate and inspire.

Despite moving many times into new places, or new neighborhoods and towns, it took me a while to understand that relocating didn’t change anything for me. Sometimes, it made things worse.

I finally realized that no matter where I went, there I was. Sure, things were good for a while. However, no matter how many times I paint over the bloodstain on the wall – it may be covered – it is still there. Just like my past. I didn’t learn until doing step work that holding onto all that shit was killing me and causing me to self-sabotage.

Dealing with those ugly parts properly so I didn’t have to keep moving when things got icky and uncomfortable was the key. Since I have unlocked that door, I have dealt with almost all of it that could be dealt with accordingly. Some things cannot be closed or handled. Maybe people die and so we’re left with the wreckage of our past. Sometimes, trying to amend a situation would make things worse for that person. So there are other ways to handle it. Maybe mail a letter to a bogus address with no return address. Maybe write it out and burn it, rip it up and throw it in the stream after you’ve read your letter aloud to the universe.

However it can be done, sometimes it is a necessary evil that when complete, feels like twelve pounds of dead weight had been lifted off your mind.

The last two times I have moved was not to run away from the past but to continue to build my life and my future with my husband and cat. My kids are grown now and have started lives for themselves.

It’s always okay to visit the past, just be sure not to move back there.

Blessed be.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/relocate/

relocate