Detaching from the Parking Spot

Isn’t it great how we all have favorite things? I love books, music, and nature. I also have other odd favorites, like bread butts, burnt baked goods, and finding whatever I need when I ask the universe for it. So, it’s no surprise that I once had a strange attachment to a parking spot which caused me a great deal of anxiety and grief.

Image: Pinterest

It started at my old toxic job after co-worker #1 got sick of the bosses shit and quit. Enter, Susan. A quirky senior citizen born and raised in New York only evident by the way she says ‘reguleh’ and ‘wehk’ (work). She moved to Pennsy in her early twenties. It turned out we both lived in the same town (an hour from the office) and both liked to be early.

The first time I saw her car in my parking spot, I was like, “OK, Susan. You’ve only worked here for like three months. That’s my parking spot.” I said it jokingly, but was serious. I had ten years seniority on her at the time! How dare she! This went on for a number of weeks until I came home from work one day and vented to my husband about her disdain and blatant disrespect for me.

He was kind of shocked at my attitude. “What happened to letting go and letting the Universe? What happened to detaching?” I thought about that long and deep.

What the hell was I thinking? A parking spot? Really, Darlene? So, I did what any level-headed human would do… made a cup of coffee and wrote out a list of my resentments and the why’s of it all. It turned out my attachment was the basis of my misery so I had to detach.

It was difficult for a day – after I prayed on it and looked at it for what it was, I asked the Universe to remove my shortcomings and the attachment…

I wanted it removed, believed it removed and so it was removed. Ironically, after I let it go she stopped parking there.

Go figure.

Have you ever gotten attached to anything like a parking spot, mug, etc?

Reflection of the Day: Follow Your Heart

Image: Pixabay – Alexas_Fotos

There is a little song called ‘Follow Your Heart’ by a Canadian band named Triumph and whenever I need that extra push in life, it always seems to find its way into my day.

“Living for today, forget about tomorrow

Follow your heart (you got to follow your heart)

Any other way will only lead to sorrow…”

Triumph

It is easy to confuse the head with the heart… It makes sense that the brain would lead us in the right direction, but the brain is made for survival, so the brain will always take us to the center of the mountain, the heart takes us to the edge. The heart wants us to live, the brain only wants to keep us alive… is it that easy to get them mixed up? I say yes. I get them mixed up a lot.

Do you like to live on the edge or in the middle?

Reflection of the Day – Living in Fear

Good morning and welcome to my new blog series: Reflection of the Day. I know you are busy with life stuff, so these posts will be short and thought-provoking.

How much of your life is rooted in fear? I asked myself that the other day. And I realized, a whole lot of my life is rooted in fear. The thing is, we get what we focus on, whether we want it or not.

I am at a crossroads in my life… And I have to ask myself, what would I do with my life if I only had five years to live? My answer is simple, but then, the fear of failure kicks in. So, I guess much of my life is rooted in fear.

How do we stand up to fear?

Clearing the Wreckage of my Past

Good afternoon. My name is Darlene and I am an alcoholic, addict, bonafide do anything that feels good until it almost kills me human being. I haven’t had a drink or a drug since 2006. Doing other feel-good stuff however (eating, over spending, etc) I have partaken in and it is time to quit that shit.

©2019, Darlene A. McGarrity

One of the things I had to do to get where I am today is “clear the wreckage of my past.” Now, this is a term used in treatment programs and it began in AA. And while it is mostly used in twelve step programs, I have to say that it can do wonders for anyone who feels stuck in the molasses of life.

I have cleared the wreckage of my past a few times… Taking a personal inventory is not a one time thing. It’s kind of like a tub drain. It gets clogged from the daily debris and muck of life and then it starts to slow down and before you know it, there is a clog. Clear the clog and the drain is flowing smooth and free.

Ain’t no arguing with the truth when you spin it in an honest way.

That’s how it is in life. All that crap we hold onto clogs our judgment, thinking, and decisions until we find ourselves in places we don’t belong with people we shouldn’t be with doing things we swore we’d never do.

In 2005, I tried to get clean and sober but refused to take responsibility for anything in my life. Finger pointing still kills me every time. These days I don’t drink over it, but I do feel shitty when I don’t look at my life honestly and decide to blame other people for my shit.

Even this morning, this lady in traffic pissed me off but then after my self-checking honesty I said, “Darlene, you’d be fine if you had left the house on time.” Ain’t no arguing with the truth when you spin it in an honest way. Did I want to be the one to blame? Hell no. But I was and after I admitted my wrongs, I felt way different after I got over my bruised ego.

When I take a look at the shit I have been through and any shit I am currently experiencing, I can absolutely see a correlation with past events if I am honest about it. There are a few gurus I have listened to and read that have helped me with his process.

Some people call me a pretentious, self-righteous bitch. And I am totally cool with that. We can only reach the people the way they are listening. I was that person a long time ago and once in a while I still am that person. A lot of times I want to write something and then I have to rethink it. “Am I speaking from my heart or my ego?” I do speak from my ego sometimes… we all do.

So, every day I try to figure out what is going on with me and live my best life. There is no substitute for rigorous self-honesty. There just isn’t. It is the one thing that will transport you to every next level of your life. So far it has done wonders for me. I am not saying that I am like Deepak Chopra or The Dali Lama and forgive everyone immediately or that I am all peace, sunshine and flowers all the time… hell no.

Peace and Love.

New Ideas

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I am still bummed they stopped doing the daily post and that has dulled my motivation to blog. Edits for the novel are almost complete, along with some new entries for Poetry Through Recovery which still does not have an official release date.

Despite the delays, I came up with another great idea for myself since I have so much to offer the world.

I am starting a YouTube Channel. Yes! How exciting, right? It’s going to be a trial and error thing at first because I have some issues with talking (it’s why I am a writer) but I want to do this because I feel a deep calling in me. (I guess it helps that I am taking a public speaking class in the fall!)

My YouTube Channel is going to be about getting through the bullshit of feelings, to put it bluntly, so people can live their best life. There will be an edge about living sober because one of the biggest reasons why people abuse drugs is because they don’t know how to deal. In light of this sick, sad opiate epidemic, I feel like it is something I need to do since opiates almost killed me and I am here to tell the tale of survival. I am attending a viewing tonight of a young woman who died last week as a result of opiate abuse. 😦

There has to be a way to stop all of this insanity, and I believe the first major step is self-awareness.

The username is irrelevant to the cause right now (it is Ninja500Chic – I used to ride a motorcycle!), but that link name will be changing to something more appropriate to what I want to do… which is help people with the truth about living sober. And not just sober, really. Living life free from the bullshit of regret and the past.

I am still figuring all of this out. Meditation has been a cornerstone in my life recently and let me tell you, it helps. A lot. It really makes sense to me now how life situations come in piles instead of droplets.

I am so excited about this! ❤ Stay tuned my friends… this is going to be beautiful.

Please, go to YouTube and follow my channel for upcoming videos about how to live your best life whether you are sober, want to be sober or are struggling to stay sober. Maybe you have a family member who struggles with addiction… this channel will help you to see inside the mind of an addict from both sides.

Right now, the channel is: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfmkKfG9HbB0SmKKg-rgg0w

The username is:

https://www.youtube.com/user/Ninja500Chic

Image: matthewmister.com

Twelve Years Sober

776eaf4719ddaa1fb1d210fa91a956e5_screenI might be guilty of bragging, but that’s fine. Some things are worth bragging about every day. Being clean and sober is one of them. It might be difficult to understand if you’ve never been on the giving or receiving end of this type of hell. That makes you fortunate.

But, I am fortunate, too.

I am fortunate to have been through hell and come out filthy on the other side. I went through all that shit to make me a stronger person and to help others get through their own version of hell.

That is what this life is all about. Helping others. I don’t get to give up because as much as I might want to, or as much as I might feel my life is all my own and that it is no one else’s business what I do, that is an inaccurate statement.

I am doing this whole Law of Attraction thing and though it feels like nothing is giving and nothing is sparkly, I am learning that I am still on my path. I am learning that despite once feeling guilty about everything that ever happened to me, I am okay. I am the master of my universe. I am the creator of my life. I have a vibration that attracts things. The essence of that which is like unto itself is drawn.

I used to write about my sobriety here but stopped because I was busy with other things and there were already so many great websites and blogs about living sober I figured I would be better off helping people in other ways, and so I did.

If you are going through it, keep going. You’re going to be okay. If you need help and have to where to turn, go to one of these links to get started. AA NA

Guilty