First of all, I’m not. I went out to WalMart today expecting something from a Stephen King book and it was pretty average. All the poultry was sold out from the meat department which intrigued me. I bought a pack of hamburgers and moved on with my life.
I have stuff already in the house and truth be told, I am not the kind of person that panics, ever. I did walk around a couple of stores not really sure what I was looking for but putting things in my cart when I found them. Like a first aid kit, Advil, and peanut butter. Sugar and coffee, too. I know what’s important!
It was strange to me the types of things that were still on shelves but then I remembered how many kids these days are allergic to peanuts and board games so it all kind of made sense.
As a die hard introvert, this whole ‘stay in your house ‘ thing is exciting for me. I mean, I don’t have to make up excuses why I don’t want to come outside.
“Um, Corona Virus, y’all… see ya in two weeks.”
I firmly believe that the media is a bastard when it comes to blowing stuff out of proportion. Telling us that Tom Hanks and his wife tested positive, people buying all the hand sanitizer just to resell it at black market value in other places. Yes, I get that it is a dangerous thing that can infect and hurt a lot of people. But I think freaking out over it and buying up all the supplies is a bit much.
I will say, though, that my living in an RV idea is looking more and more doable!
Yep yep… we’ve heard it a hundred times. We’ve seen a hundred movies. Movies about the end of the world, 2012, zombies. It never ends! And we fall for this constantly. Maybe it is because as human beings, we need the stimulation. Like a world full of drama queens, except this is a little more serious than a broken nail and a backstabbing girlfriend.
Some say that in this apocalypse that the good will be spared and that the bad and unrepentant will be cast into hell. Some say that it will be a zombie party and the living doomed to death or eternal living death.
Well, I am prepared! I have the Zombie Survival Guide Page A Day Calendar! I thought that having this calendar would be a great asset to surviving a zombie apocalypse or any other type of disaster. It has all types of goodies and tips like getting up the steps and getting rid of said steps, how to obliterate a zombie (essential!), what kinds of weapons to use. Damn if I didn’t throw away the first four months of pages!
If you need any help in preparing for Zombies, or any other disaster, I heartily suggest watching Zombieland with Woody Harrelson. If you have seen it, watch it again. Not only is it amusing, it is full of tips! The classic “double tap” of course. In any movie before Zombieland, we’ve seen the protagonist shoot or stab the antagonist and walk away assuming said bad guy was dead. This left the audience yelling at the screen, frustrated that the protagonist did not make sure the bad guy was dead.
The double tap put this faux pas to rest. I’ll leave the rest to the movie, but the double tap is paramount!
Also… very important to make sure all bases are covered. If you are going to stay inside, for Pete’s sake make sure you have all the essentials! This is where having a case of Twinkies is great! They keep for years (hopefully you won’t need the Twninksters to keep that long) and they taste great! The bad news is that you won’t be able to wash them down with an ice-cold glass of milk. Also, if you have canned food (and I am sure you will) make sure you have a manual can opener. An electric can opener is as useless as… well, anything utterly useless.
It is in disastrous times we tend to realize how useless technology really is. In times of catastrophe and the world overtaken by zombies, craft and skill of the survival kind are necessary.
So dig deep into your guttural souls, dearies. It is survival of the fittest.