Friday Flash Fiction – The Coffee Room

electro-maniacs.net
Image courtesy of electro-maniacs.net

I could smell it.  Its perverse odor invaded my nostrils as I sat on the overstuffed, taupe chair that reminded me of over-creamed coffee.

“Bastards,” I mumbled.  The fabric color on the chair was no accident.  Of this, I was sure.  I pretended to ignore the odor. My brow beaded with sweat as I ogled the gurgling contraption on the counter in the corner.  I eyeballed the powdered creamer and the foam cups.  Maybe it would not hurt if I had one cup.

“No,” I said aloud.

A woman with too much eye make-up on snapped her head up to glare at me.  “Excuse me?” she asked in an annoyed tone as she shifted in her dark brown chair.

Go to hell, bitch. And take your laughable eye shadow with you, I thought.

“Sorry, I was talking to myself,” I answered.

“Oh,” she cracked her gum.  “Why are you here?” She kept staring at me.

“Not much of a talker, huh? I get it.  I never was either, but Dr. Pantomime said I need to be more expressive,” she said and motioned to her face.

“I don’t think that’s what he meant, but okay,” I flubbed as the coffee became pungent.  Why would they put fucking coffee in here?  Did they not know why I was here? Did they not get the fucking memo?

“Excuse me, miss?” I said to the receptionist behind the desk. She looked up and slid the glass back.

“Yes?”

“Is there caffeine in that coffee?” I asked.

“I don’t know, sir.  You’ll have to figure it out for yourself.”

The powered creamer fell silently into the six-ounce abyss of coffee that swirled in the foam cup.  I had a fifty-fifty shot. If it was decaf, I was okay.  If not, the clown woman and glass woman would have a free ticket to hell.

“Ready?” I shouted.  The man who just entered the waiting room looked confused.  I chugged the coffee as it caressed my throat, burning on the way down.  My head raced.  My heart palpitated.

I smiled as the beads of sweat dripped into my eyes. “You’re all screwed.”

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The Walking Dead Chow Down

Thursday Segment – The Walking Dead Chow Down

I love Zombies.  I am not sure why, or when this sickening lust for the undead began, but it is palpable.  I love zombies so much that my second WIP is about Zombies. I am so excited about this project I can barely contain myself.  Since I pine for zombies and zombie culture in a most non-sexual way, it makes sense that I would be obsessed with The Walking Dead. When I heard this show was coming around I thought, “meh, zombie television.  Who needs it?” But the best part of the show is not the zombies chasing the humans, or the growling.

Don’t Do It!

As a writer, it is of course, the human element.  It is the character dynamic.  The protagonist, the non-zombie antagonist and everything in between.  I mean, yeah, the zombies are creepy – the way they appear out of no where – but the creepiest part for me is the dynamic between Rick, Duane, Dale and of course, Andrea.

I love Andrea.  She is totally the person I want to be when the shit hits the fan for the real zombie apocalypse (yeah, it’s coming).  Don’t believe me? Read World War Z and get a bit of info. Or, you could wait for the movie (to be released 12.21.12).

Back to Andrea.  She is not mushy or wishy-washy.  And she can strip a rifle faster that you can say “take cover.” She doesn’t get too emotional like Lori (who annoys me with her selfishness).  So far she hasn’t gotten attached to any men.

Shane is a drama queen (even though he is a dude).  I don’t like him and I think he will stir quite a ruckus this season.  When he shaved his head last season I was impressed with the showing of the character change. He killed someone and then shaved his head with a razor.  I felt astonishment during that scene.  I knew where the writers were going.  Shane was not a nice guy anymore.  The audience needed to know that without someone having a conversation with him about how “un-nice” he had become.

The zombies are really catalysts.  They invoke a primeval instinct in the humans; within the group and other humans they come in contact with. Fight or flight.  In this case, it is fight within the flight. The humans flee from zombies all the while fleeing from the parts of themselves they try to hide from the others.

I hope there are other “walking dead heads” out there who share my enthusiasm for the upcoming season!

Stay tuned each Thursday for The Walking Dead Chow Down.  I’ll be posting tidbits on the previous Sunday’s episode and peeling back the layers of the Who! What! Where! When! and Why!  Join in the discussion and fun. 😀

The Wednesday Row80 Around

Row80!!!  Woo Hoo!  This week is going so well!  Ok, my Talk About It Tuesday didn’t make a huge splash, but I have faith that it will grow some goo and stick to a few windshields. Maybe I didn’t talk enough?  Or maybe the subjects weren’t nuts enough.  Or maybe….. the universe does not revolve around me and people are actually doing *GASP* non-Darlene related things!

A-GO-NY!! Anyway, it is actually the first post I ever posted on a Tuesday come to think about it.  I was doing the customary ROW80 Sunday and ROW80 Wednesday posts. Then I added the Flash Fiction Friday segment.

Now I am adding two new segments.  Talk About It Tuesday and The Walking Dead Chow Down which is scheduled for Thursdays.

I always find these ridiculous stories in my RSS feed in work and I figured my readers would appreciate the insanity in the world just as much as I do.  So Talk About It Tuesday was born.

Thursday is all about zombies and The Walking Dead.  I thought of this because I wanted a fun theme that I love (and some of my readers love) and I figured I could not go wrong with zombies! So I am adding the upkeep of these two themes to my ROW80 goals.

On to the Goals:

  • Reading/commenting blogs – I have been doing very well on this.  I have found some great new blogs and have commented and read a good 1o – 12 blogs a day.  It is time-consuming.  To make it less time-consuming, I let them all build up in my inbox and then use my lunch hour in work to read and comment.  Eating and reading interesting stuff works for me!
  • 750words.com – I am kicking so much arse on this goal I am contemplating the actual taking of names. I have been free writing with no rhyme or reason.  It is coming out very raw and I love it.
  • WIP – Totally bombing on this one.  I started the editing process but felt like I still knew too much of what was going on in the story that I would fill in parts in my mind that weren’t written in.  Does that make sense? So I put it back on the shelf for another thirty days.
  • My new blog segments – This is a brand new baby!  I discovered the beauty of scheduled blog posts thanks to Kristen Lamb and I am loving it! It has made my life so much easier.  Making my life easier has given me more time.  More time has led to structure on my blog. It’s like building a flea circus out of safety pins and Popsicle sticks, except it works.

Off topic:  if you haven’t seen the movie DRIVE starring Ryan Gosling, you might want to give it look-see.  I am not a fan of his, but my boyfriend put it on tonight and I was drawn in by the lack of script and the abundance of sound and actions.

So that is it for this week. I’ll be posting my post to the linky tools site which can be found here.  How are everyone else’s goals coming along?

Talk About It Tuesday

Welcome to the first installment of Talk About It Tuesday.  This is a new gig coming to you live from Bucks County, PA every Tuesday.  How it works:  In my spare time that really isn’t spare ( but hey, I’m a slacker) I will be finding the most ridiculous stories on the internet and posting them here. Yes.  HERE!

There won’t be many animal videos, because, as I realized tonight while my boyfriend watches kitten videos on YouTube… the exploitation stirs something unnerving inside.

So this week I found out that spiders have detachable penises!  Apparently, amidst the sexual encounter, the male spider begins to panic at the thought of being murdered by his mate and leaves his penis to work while he escapes.  I am sure there are a lot of men out there that wish they came stocked with this feature.

In London news, Menna Pritchard caught a lot of flack.  Apparently, rock climbing with your baby strapped to your back is frowned upon.  Well, yeah!  I think what unnerved people (ok, me) is that the mother had a helmet on, but the baby was sans helmet. Outrageous?  Read the article and share your thoughts.

Why do a lot of people think the police and FBI are a joke?  Maybe because once in a while they screw up in gigantic fashion.  A Massachusetts woman was held at gunpoint for a half hour while her baby screamed in the other room after the Feebs cut through the wrong door.  This after a two-year drug investigation. Two years!  If that isn’t alarming, I don’t know what is.

In Taiwan, a gamer died in a cafe and sat there (dead) for at least nine hours before anyone noticed!  According to the article, this is not the first time a person has died due to excessive gaming.  If you sit on your ass all day and then get up to move around, you could induce a heart attack.  I am using this reason at work for all my wandering the hallways.

Since reading these I will not be sitting on my ass playing Wii anymore.  And the next time I want to go rock climbing with my cat, I surely will have his helmet complete with ear holes ready to go. Hope you enjoyed the first installment of Talk About It Tuesday.

Coming to a Computer Screen Near You!

Happy Sunday Folks!  It is that time of the week again when the ROW80 clan gives the skinny on what’s been going up, down and around town with our Rowiest Goals.

750words.com

I have been kicking arse at 750words.com.   I was using this to write my Zombie story, but then realized when I went back the next day to take the words out, they were all lumped together like mashed potatoes (but not as tasty).  So, I now use the site to free write.  My crazy clown story titled, “Vengeful Noodles”, sprung from free writing on the site.  I think it is a great way to keep writing even if I have nothing to really write.  Does that make sense?

Flash Fiction Friday

My goals have kind of been all over the place, but I came up with some ideas in the mass mania of my week.  I am going to have TWO recurring themes on my blog starting this week.  One will be Flash Fiction Friday, which I am pretty sure is not new, but I have fun doing it.  It will now be a weekly thing on “Life at Full Throttle.”

Talk About It Tuesday

This will also be a new weekly segment here at “Life at Full Throttle.”  I was sitting in work yesterday on my lunch scrolling through an RSS feed I get in my work email and found some of the most ridiculous stories.  I will be sharing links to these loony stories and wanting to know your thoughts. Why would someone marry a corpse?  Uh, cause they’re two donuts short of a dozen!

Goals for this week are as follows:

  • read/comment blogs – I am pretty good at this one
  • continue with 750words.com
  • AA meeting
  • edit NaNoWriMo novel (I have slacked on this – big time)
  • Continue with Zombie story

There you have it, readers. Good luck with your goals!  How are they coming along?  Have you added or removed any goals?  Have any of your goals changed in the process of achieving them?  Click here to post your progress to the linky site!

Vengeful Noodles – Friday Flash Fiction

www.picgifs.com
picgifs.com

Noodles lived in a decent part of the city.  His wife left him five years ago for a circus clown named Rickety Randy the Rolling Roundhouse.  Noodles couldn’t figure it out.  The ostentatious Rickety.  He would purposely wear a purple beep nose just to show everyone else up at the circus with their plain red noses.  Oh, and that flower that squirted Chardonnay.  What was he thinking?  Frigging loser.  Everyone knew he squirted the flower wine into his own mouth because he was such a drunken lush.  He would beep his nose and squirt the flower at least every twenty-seven seconds.  The clown of clowns was falling down drunk in an hour. Turned out he had a hose to a plastic pack riding his back filled with his juice.

A freaking drunk clown!  Noodles was mortified.  Noodles swore revenge on Randy, but never got the chance.  Rickety Randy had been at a main gig at a two ring circus in Burgboro. His only job was to arm/paw wrestle Turdster the Tiger while simultaneously playing catch with a six hundred pound bear named Scuttles.  Turned out Scuttles and Turdster had a deep-seated hatred for each other and amidst the paw fight between the two, Rickety slipped on Tiger drool and broke his neck.  Turdster and Scuttles took turns eating Rickety much to the absolute horror of the crowd.

To this day Noodles sends his ex-wife a subscription to Circus Animals Weekly each year.

*I am sitting in my office on my lunch at the moment.  Where did the idea for a drunken clown love trio come from?  I couldn’t tell you.  Thank heavens I use writing to get these morbid ideas out!*

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Caught Off Guard? Go With The Flow…

Just A Bike From The 2012 Bike Show in NY

Yeah……..my day. I won’t bore you with the boring details because they are freaking boring. I went to an AA meeting tonight… yep.  Been a while.  I get caught up in myself and think… “What. Me? AA? Phshh.. I got stuff to do!” But in reality.. I need those meetings.. So I went. God is a funny dude, let me say.  I haven’t been to an AA meeting in months.  I get there and an AA friend of mine asks me to speak. The conversation went like this:

“Hey, Dar, ain’t seen you in a while.  How ya been?”

“Hey! What’s up? Great. You?” I sip my Dunkin’ Donuts coffee hoping he doesn’t realize I didn’t say his name.

“Dar, you wanna do me a favor?”

I already know where this is going. “Depends,” I say. Another sip. What the frig is this guy’s name?

“You wanna speak?” big smile.  He has a great smile.

“No, not really,” I say and smile.

He starts his speech about how his speaker ditched him and all that jazz… I cut him off.

“I’ll do it.  I’ll speak.”

“Aww, you’re the best!”

“I know,” I kid in a serious tone and wink. I still don’t remember the poor guys name.. but I touched on my memory (and the reason for it’s lameness) when I spoke.

Speaking at AA meetings is important for the listeners at the meeting. Most of all, it is important for the speaker. When I share my story at a meeting I usually have it planned.  I have bullet points written on a piece of paper (a lot of us do this).  But I find when I get caught off guard like tonight, it helps me grow.

I am basically free writing out loud.  I am talking about painful stuff.  But I say some witty things, and laugh.  The listeners laugh. It’s all good.

Anyway.  Today was a good day.

I wrote my 750 words this morning.  Got to a meeting. Saw my sponsor. Read some blogs and commented on them.

ROW80 Goals

  • read blogs/comment blogs
  • continue with 750 words.com
  • update blog 1-2 times a week
  • continue Story#2
  • Journal.

Hope everyone else is coming along nicely with their goals. Check this link out to read ROW80 blogs or post your own update!