Flash Fiction Friday – Bullet

image courtesy of zodiacgift.com
Special Bullet

So I sat in a box for the last, oh, I don’t know, seven years?  Just sat there on a shelf with dozens of other boxes on other shelves with the others and I am finally free.
I don’t know who opened the box and put me in the chamber of freedom, but his fingers were fat like crinkled sausages and they smelled like shit. I guess some uprights never wash their hands.
“There you go my pet,” the upright says. “You are such a special little bullet. You were born to do great things.  You are going to change history, my pet.”
The upright talks a lot.
It’s freaking dark in here.  I have waited my entire life to get out of that damn box. I am a special bullet.  I don’t mingle with common bullets.
Seven years I have waited for this.  I don’t know what to expect. I just hear the voice.  I guess the voice thinks I can’t understand, but I can. I hear it talk about me.  It talks about my velocity, my speed and my distance.
It’s weird, you know? I don’t know what any of it means.
I can hear the upright speak as I sit here waiting for my moment of glory. He told me I was going to change history.  I don’t know what that means really…  but it sounds important.
Before the upright put me in here, it held me close to where the voice comes out.  It told me all these things.
“You’re so beautiful,” it says.
“You are the most special bullet ever, little bullet. You are going to make poppa so proud,” the voice cries.
I wanted to concur or validate the voices wishes. But what the hell, I’m just a bullet after all. A special bullet it tells me. But I don’t know what the means.  I don’t even know what my purpose is.
“Oh, special bullet. Be straight and true with your aim, young one.  Guide your soul into the heart of that bastard and save us all,” the voice screams.
The upright put me in something cold and long.  It’s dark in here.
Wait.  I just heard a loud bang and now I am zooming through the air toward another upright.  I don’t understand any of this.
Now I am in something hot, dark and wet. This is so odd.  I was happy in my box with the others.  I don’t feel so special anymore. Where is the voice?
I hear other voices now.  They are making high-pitched noises.  They are screaming, “He’s shot! He’s shot!”
My shell is gone.  I am now a flat piece of metal.
I still don’t feel special.

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The Walking Dead Chow Down – Morality

Zombies!
The Walking Dead

Welcome to the second installment of The Walking Dead Chow Down.  For the first installment click right here!

I spent Saturday with my redneck fireplace, oatmeal raisin cookies (with cinnamon chips) and the first season of AMC’s The Walking Dead. It’s amazing how we follow shows or read a book series, and while we remember what got us to the point we’re at, we forget a lot of the back story.

The first episode is a lesson in humanity. Sheriff Deputy Carl wakes  up in a hospital with a gunshot wound and has no idea what is going on. He quickly learns that there’s  no one around but hasn’t got an idea of why. He stumbles around town in his hospital gown until he gets knocked out by a kid.

So here’s the thing – there are living dead people.  And we don’t know.. we don’t know if they are conscious of their pain or there feelings.  In Season One/Episode One (S1/E1), there are a couple of walkers who have feeling in their eyes.  In one shot, Carl finds a house with a father and son.  Carl gets freshened up and gets the skinny on what is going down. A car alarm goes off outside the house and there, at the door, is the boy’s mother.  The father sends the boy away; he knows what he has to do.  He doesn’t like it.  But he knows.

If you haven’t gotten caught up on Season One go here.

So S1E1 got myself and my boyfriend in a conversation.  Could I kill someone who was suffering?  Not just anyone though.  Could I kill him (my BF) if he possessed sores and entrails hanging out as he tried to eat my flesh?

Um, yes.  I mean, there are rare times when selfish is okay.  When someone I love is moaning along with bits of flesh hanging off their face, the whole “I’ll feel awful” does not apply.

Season 2/Episode 1 (Actually Season One Part 2)

Well, the best part about the season premier was the show closed with a great song by Clutch called “The Regulator.”  As a huge heavy metal fan, that just cinched it for me.  Two new characters came to town Sunday night: Dave and Tony.  These two clowns hail from Philly in the show. They absolutely gave off a “do not trust us” vibe which made me kind of sad being a Philly native.  But it’s all cool.

Rick tried to tell them to go away nicely, but they weren’t having it.  I mean, could you feel bad for them?  I did for a moment, until the one guy started talking. After he opened his mouth with his slick talk, I could feel the “Philly talk” (bull poo) vibe and wanted him gone.

So there were two lines in the show Sunday night I want to discuss.  

1. THERE IS NO HOPE.  Is this ever true?  And if there really ever is NO hope – what do you do? Do you keep living?  And in doing that, does that imply that there is still hope? I mean, the guy was sitting at the bar feeling sad (understandable with no working plumbing and zombies around every corner) but just in sitting there talking about it, there is hope, right? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

2. DEATH IS DEATH. Hmm.. this is deep, eh?  It reminded me of DeNiro’s line in The Deer Hunter when he holds the bullet up and says, “this is this.”  That’s all it is.  It’s not fancy.  There is no deeper meaning.  It is what it is and it ain’t nothing else.  There is no magic.  It is just death.  So if death IS death – what exactly is it?

Thanks for joining me for The Walking Dead Chow Down… see you next week for more Zombie Stuff to pick apart (eewwwww).  P.S.  If you like fun, creepy off the wall stuff – check out my friend Catie Rhodes’ blog *Full-Tilt Backwoods Boogie*. I guarantee you’ll love it!

Talk About It Tuesday – Penguins, Wine & Peanut Butter

Welcome to Talk About It Tuesday. Today is Valentine’s Day!  Happy V-Day you love doves!  I figure there will be a lot of mooey gooey Valentine’s Day posts out there, so we’re gonna stick to the wackos.

Last week was a lot of fun!  I really enjoy finding these crazy articles and sharing them with you. Last week we talked about spiders with detachable man parts and gamers dying to play another round of their favorite video game.  Literally. This week we have penguins, wine and peanut butter…

John Holt / Dock 25 via New England Aquarium

Roast Beef the Penguin is going to old age homes to help the elderly smile.  Roast Beef loves the attention and looks forward to his visits. He is 13 and acclimated to visiting children, but did very well on his first visit at the Hannah Duston Rehabilitation Center in Haverhill, Mass.

Let’s just say you are having a bad day.  Maybe you just lost your job as a bacon inspector at the local Oink-A-Boink and you’re really down on your luck.  Well, find a cat to sit with, a dog to pet or a penguin to plop in your lap.  According to Psychology Today, pets makes us feel better!

Off to Connecticut we go to discuss wine thieving irony.  OK, you’re looking for a good bottle of wine but don’t have the cash to buy it, you say.  Well, you could do what Mark Clark of New Haven, Conn. did and thieve the wine from Wine Thief.  I do not recommend this because, well, stealing is illegal pretty much all over the world (and probably Jupiter, too).  It’s probably easier to panhandle for a couple of hours to get a bottle of booze, but where’s the fun in that?

Does it get anymore ironic than that? Well, it gets weirder.  In Kentucky, a 23-year-old man was found inside a convenience store naked, covered in peanut butter and chocolate.  So, I guess technically, he wasn’t naked. Apparently, the Reese’s imposter knew he was acting out of character.  He wrote an apology on the floor of the market in liquid NyQuil.

I seriously cannot make this stuff up. Well, actually I could, but it would be way time-consuming and would require mass amounts of LSD.  I have access to neither of those.  So I just troll news pages and share all the quirky stuff with you guys!

Hope everyone is over indulging in chocolate and rose petal bubble baths.. or at least chowing down on a candy bar while sitting next to a scented candle. 😀

Thank you so much for joining me for Talk About It Tuesday.

Six Sentence Sunday – ROW 80 Style

Rowing along on the 80 Train trying to catch the “Six” bus. Ok, not really.  It is time for the weekly ROW80 check in.  Check out the Jenny Hansen’s blog for the link up!

There is this new site called Triberr that just came to town.  Jenny wrote a huge post on it which can be found here.  That link is to Part 4, but you can find parts 1 – 3 from there.  I bring this up because I will be reading all four posts today.  I am on Triberr if anyone wants to find me!  I am a lost soul on the site (much like a blind man at an epic light show).

Other than that:

  • still writing 750+ words a day.
  • still updating blogs.
  • still reading/commenting blogs like a blog junkie.

New Goals

  • Walk twenty minutes a day around the neighborhood.
  • Figure out this Triberr thing.
  • Link up at Nick Rolynd’s blog for 30 minute fiction on Friday’s.

Now for six sentences from a three-year old short story.

Six Sentence Sunday

There were seventeen cats living in Louie’s basement.  Louie wasn’t sure how it got so out of control, but he knew he had a problem when the incessant meowing had become the background music for dinner.  Louie really thought he was doing the right thing, but it seemed at some point in the last nine months he had possibly become a compulsive cat hoarder.

It all started when Pawsie and Meowlofur were left after his sister Shelia’s death.  She had asked Louie while on her death-bed emblazoned with tubes to take her precious felines.  Louie had begged her in the hollow hospital room to let someone else have the pleasure, but Sheila was adamant.

*******

Hopefully everyone else is cruising along smoothly with their goals.  If not, it is okay.  That is the beauty of ROW80 is flexibility. 😀

Friday Flash Fiction – The Coffee Room

electro-maniacs.net
Image courtesy of electro-maniacs.net

I could smell it.  Its perverse odor invaded my nostrils as I sat on the overstuffed, taupe chair that reminded me of over-creamed coffee.

“Bastards,” I mumbled.  The fabric color on the chair was no accident.  Of this, I was sure.  I pretended to ignore the odor. My brow beaded with sweat as I ogled the gurgling contraption on the counter in the corner.  I eyeballed the powdered creamer and the foam cups.  Maybe it would not hurt if I had one cup.

“No,” I said aloud.

A woman with too much eye make-up on snapped her head up to glare at me.  “Excuse me?” she asked in an annoyed tone as she shifted in her dark brown chair.

Go to hell, bitch. And take your laughable eye shadow with you, I thought.

“Sorry, I was talking to myself,” I answered.

“Oh,” she cracked her gum.  “Why are you here?” She kept staring at me.

“Not much of a talker, huh? I get it.  I never was either, but Dr. Pantomime said I need to be more expressive,” she said and motioned to her face.

“I don’t think that’s what he meant, but okay,” I flubbed as the coffee became pungent.  Why would they put fucking coffee in here?  Did they not know why I was here? Did they not get the fucking memo?

“Excuse me, miss?” I said to the receptionist behind the desk. She looked up and slid the glass back.

“Yes?”

“Is there caffeine in that coffee?” I asked.

“I don’t know, sir.  You’ll have to figure it out for yourself.”

The powered creamer fell silently into the six-ounce abyss of coffee that swirled in the foam cup.  I had a fifty-fifty shot. If it was decaf, I was okay.  If not, the clown woman and glass woman would have a free ticket to hell.

“Ready?” I shouted.  The man who just entered the waiting room looked confused.  I chugged the coffee as it caressed my throat, burning on the way down.  My head raced.  My heart palpitated.

I smiled as the beads of sweat dripped into my eyes. “You’re all screwed.”

The Walking Dead Chow Down

Thursday Segment – The Walking Dead Chow Down

I love Zombies.  I am not sure why, or when this sickening lust for the undead began, but it is palpable.  I love zombies so much that my second WIP is about Zombies. I am so excited about this project I can barely contain myself.  Since I pine for zombies and zombie culture in a most non-sexual way, it makes sense that I would be obsessed with The Walking Dead. When I heard this show was coming around I thought, “meh, zombie television.  Who needs it?” But the best part of the show is not the zombies chasing the humans, or the growling.

Don’t Do It!

As a writer, it is of course, the human element.  It is the character dynamic.  The protagonist, the non-zombie antagonist and everything in between.  I mean, yeah, the zombies are creepy – the way they appear out of no where – but the creepiest part for me is the dynamic between Rick, Duane, Dale and of course, Andrea.

I love Andrea.  She is totally the person I want to be when the shit hits the fan for the real zombie apocalypse (yeah, it’s coming).  Don’t believe me? Read World War Z and get a bit of info. Or, you could wait for the movie (to be released 12.21.12).

Back to Andrea.  She is not mushy or wishy-washy.  And she can strip a rifle faster that you can say “take cover.” She doesn’t get too emotional like Lori (who annoys me with her selfishness).  So far she hasn’t gotten attached to any men.

Shane is a drama queen (even though he is a dude).  I don’t like him and I think he will stir quite a ruckus this season.  When he shaved his head last season I was impressed with the showing of the character change. He killed someone and then shaved his head with a razor.  I felt astonishment during that scene.  I knew where the writers were going.  Shane was not a nice guy anymore.  The audience needed to know that without someone having a conversation with him about how “un-nice” he had become.

The zombies are really catalysts.  They invoke a primeval instinct in the humans; within the group and other humans they come in contact with. Fight or flight.  In this case, it is fight within the flight. The humans flee from zombies all the while fleeing from the parts of themselves they try to hide from the others.

I hope there are other “walking dead heads” out there who share my enthusiasm for the upcoming season!

Stay tuned each Thursday for The Walking Dead Chow Down.  I’ll be posting tidbits on the previous Sunday’s episode and peeling back the layers of the Who! What! Where! When! and Why!  Join in the discussion and fun. 😀

The Wednesday Row80 Around

Row80!!!  Woo Hoo!  This week is going so well!  Ok, my Talk About It Tuesday didn’t make a huge splash, but I have faith that it will grow some goo and stick to a few windshields. Maybe I didn’t talk enough?  Or maybe the subjects weren’t nuts enough.  Or maybe….. the universe does not revolve around me and people are actually doing *GASP* non-Darlene related things!

A-GO-NY!! Anyway, it is actually the first post I ever posted on a Tuesday come to think about it.  I was doing the customary ROW80 Sunday and ROW80 Wednesday posts. Then I added the Flash Fiction Friday segment.

Now I am adding two new segments.  Talk About It Tuesday and The Walking Dead Chow Down which is scheduled for Thursdays.

I always find these ridiculous stories in my RSS feed in work and I figured my readers would appreciate the insanity in the world just as much as I do.  So Talk About It Tuesday was born.

Thursday is all about zombies and The Walking Dead.  I thought of this because I wanted a fun theme that I love (and some of my readers love) and I figured I could not go wrong with zombies! So I am adding the upkeep of these two themes to my ROW80 goals.

On to the Goals:

  • Reading/commenting blogs – I have been doing very well on this.  I have found some great new blogs and have commented and read a good 1o – 12 blogs a day.  It is time-consuming.  To make it less time-consuming, I let them all build up in my inbox and then use my lunch hour in work to read and comment.  Eating and reading interesting stuff works for me!
  • 750words.com – I am kicking so much arse on this goal I am contemplating the actual taking of names. I have been free writing with no rhyme or reason.  It is coming out very raw and I love it.
  • WIP – Totally bombing on this one.  I started the editing process but felt like I still knew too much of what was going on in the story that I would fill in parts in my mind that weren’t written in.  Does that make sense? So I put it back on the shelf for another thirty days.
  • My new blog segments – This is a brand new baby!  I discovered the beauty of scheduled blog posts thanks to Kristen Lamb and I am loving it! It has made my life so much easier.  Making my life easier has given me more time.  More time has led to structure on my blog. It’s like building a flea circus out of safety pins and Popsicle sticks, except it works.

Off topic:  if you haven’t seen the movie DRIVE starring Ryan Gosling, you might want to give it look-see.  I am not a fan of his, but my boyfriend put it on tonight and I was drawn in by the lack of script and the abundance of sound and actions.

So that is it for this week. I’ll be posting my post to the linky tools site which can be found here.  How are everyone else’s goals coming along?