Talk About It Tuesday

Welcome to the first installment of Talk About It Tuesday.  This is a new gig coming to you live from Bucks County, PA every Tuesday.  How it works:  In my spare time that really isn’t spare ( but hey, I’m a slacker) I will be finding the most ridiculous stories on the internet and posting them here. Yes.  HERE!

There won’t be many animal videos, because, as I realized tonight while my boyfriend watches kitten videos on YouTube… the exploitation stirs something unnerving inside.

So this week I found out that spiders have detachable penises!  Apparently, amidst the sexual encounter, the male spider begins to panic at the thought of being murdered by his mate and leaves his penis to work while he escapes.  I am sure there are a lot of men out there that wish they came stocked with this feature.

In London news, Menna Pritchard caught a lot of flack.  Apparently, rock climbing with your baby strapped to your back is frowned upon.  Well, yeah!  I think what unnerved people (ok, me) is that the mother had a helmet on, but the baby was sans helmet. Outrageous?  Read the article and share your thoughts.

Why do a lot of people think the police and FBI are a joke?  Maybe because once in a while they screw up in gigantic fashion.  A Massachusetts woman was held at gunpoint for a half hour while her baby screamed in the other room after the Feebs cut through the wrong door.  This after a two-year drug investigation. Two years!  If that isn’t alarming, I don’t know what is.

In Taiwan, a gamer died in a cafe and sat there (dead) for at least nine hours before anyone noticed!  According to the article, this is not the first time a person has died due to excessive gaming.  If you sit on your ass all day and then get up to move around, you could induce a heart attack.  I am using this reason at work for all my wandering the hallways.

Since reading these I will not be sitting on my ass playing Wii anymore.  And the next time I want to go rock climbing with my cat, I surely will have his helmet complete with ear holes ready to go. Hope you enjoyed the first installment of Talk About It Tuesday.

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Coming to a Computer Screen Near You!

Happy Sunday Folks!  It is that time of the week again when the ROW80 clan gives the skinny on what’s been going up, down and around town with our Rowiest Goals.

750words.com

I have been kicking arse at 750words.com.   I was using this to write my Zombie story, but then realized when I went back the next day to take the words out, they were all lumped together like mashed potatoes (but not as tasty).  So, I now use the site to free write.  My crazy clown story titled, “Vengeful Noodles”, sprung from free writing on the site.  I think it is a great way to keep writing even if I have nothing to really write.  Does that make sense?

Flash Fiction Friday

My goals have kind of been all over the place, but I came up with some ideas in the mass mania of my week.  I am going to have TWO recurring themes on my blog starting this week.  One will be Flash Fiction Friday, which I am pretty sure is not new, but I have fun doing it.  It will now be a weekly thing on “Life at Full Throttle.”

Talk About It Tuesday

This will also be a new weekly segment here at “Life at Full Throttle.”  I was sitting in work yesterday on my lunch scrolling through an RSS feed I get in my work email and found some of the most ridiculous stories.  I will be sharing links to these loony stories and wanting to know your thoughts. Why would someone marry a corpse?  Uh, cause they’re two donuts short of a dozen!

Goals for this week are as follows:

  • read/comment blogs – I am pretty good at this one
  • continue with 750words.com
  • AA meeting
  • edit NaNoWriMo novel (I have slacked on this – big time)
  • Continue with Zombie story

There you have it, readers. Good luck with your goals!  How are they coming along?  Have you added or removed any goals?  Have any of your goals changed in the process of achieving them?  Click here to post your progress to the linky site!

Vengeful Noodles – Friday Flash Fiction

www.picgifs.com
picgifs.com

Noodles lived in a decent part of the city.  His wife left him five years ago for a circus clown named Rickety Randy the Rolling Roundhouse.  Noodles couldn’t figure it out.  The ostentatious Rickety.  He would purposely wear a purple beep nose just to show everyone else up at the circus with their plain red noses.  Oh, and that flower that squirted Chardonnay.  What was he thinking?  Frigging loser.  Everyone knew he squirted the flower wine into his own mouth because he was such a drunken lush.  He would beep his nose and squirt the flower at least every twenty-seven seconds.  The clown of clowns was falling down drunk in an hour. Turned out he had a hose to a plastic pack riding his back filled with his juice.

A freaking drunk clown!  Noodles was mortified.  Noodles swore revenge on Randy, but never got the chance.  Rickety Randy had been at a main gig at a two ring circus in Burgboro. His only job was to arm/paw wrestle Turdster the Tiger while simultaneously playing catch with a six hundred pound bear named Scuttles.  Turned out Scuttles and Turdster had a deep-seated hatred for each other and amidst the paw fight between the two, Rickety slipped on Tiger drool and broke his neck.  Turdster and Scuttles took turns eating Rickety much to the absolute horror of the crowd.

To this day Noodles sends his ex-wife a subscription to Circus Animals Weekly each year.

*I am sitting in my office on my lunch at the moment.  Where did the idea for a drunken clown love trio come from?  I couldn’t tell you.  Thank heavens I use writing to get these morbid ideas out!*

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Caught Off Guard? Go With The Flow…

Just A Bike From The 2012 Bike Show in NY

Yeah……..my day. I won’t bore you with the boring details because they are freaking boring. I went to an AA meeting tonight… yep.  Been a while.  I get caught up in myself and think… “What. Me? AA? Phshh.. I got stuff to do!” But in reality.. I need those meetings.. So I went. God is a funny dude, let me say.  I haven’t been to an AA meeting in months.  I get there and an AA friend of mine asks me to speak. The conversation went like this:

“Hey, Dar, ain’t seen you in a while.  How ya been?”

“Hey! What’s up? Great. You?” I sip my Dunkin’ Donuts coffee hoping he doesn’t realize I didn’t say his name.

“Dar, you wanna do me a favor?”

I already know where this is going. “Depends,” I say. Another sip. What the frig is this guy’s name?

“You wanna speak?” big smile.  He has a great smile.

“No, not really,” I say and smile.

He starts his speech about how his speaker ditched him and all that jazz… I cut him off.

“I’ll do it.  I’ll speak.”

“Aww, you’re the best!”

“I know,” I kid in a serious tone and wink. I still don’t remember the poor guys name.. but I touched on my memory (and the reason for it’s lameness) when I spoke.

Speaking at AA meetings is important for the listeners at the meeting. Most of all, it is important for the speaker. When I share my story at a meeting I usually have it planned.  I have bullet points written on a piece of paper (a lot of us do this).  But I find when I get caught off guard like tonight, it helps me grow.

I am basically free writing out loud.  I am talking about painful stuff.  But I say some witty things, and laugh.  The listeners laugh. It’s all good.

Anyway.  Today was a good day.

I wrote my 750 words this morning.  Got to a meeting. Saw my sponsor. Read some blogs and commented on them.

ROW80 Goals

  • read blogs/comment blogs
  • continue with 750 words.com
  • update blog 1-2 times a week
  • continue Story#2
  • Journal.

Hope everyone else is coming along nicely with their goals. Check this link out to read ROW80 blogs or post your own update!

Flash Fiction Friday – Crawling

I came to the park to get away from stress.  Now here I lay, frozen on the mucky ground.  My brand new coat ripped and ruined.

Where the hell did that rock come from?  And who trips and falls on their back? Me.  That’s who. Well, at least the sky is blue.

Wait. What was that? Oh no.  I hear something in the brush next to me! I hope it is someone to help. Hello? can you hear me? I can’t move my legs.

No. No. No. Mr. Bear, please.  I just got this coat and it is so pretty! Don’t eat me.

Before You Do Anything… Answer These Five Questions

Hubba Hubba

How many of us have made a rash decision, an impulse buy or got drunk at a bar and went home with a random stranger? Oh, alright… went home with two random strangers?

The point is, there are five questions you need to ask yourself before you make a big decision or a choice that might put you in harm’s way.

1. What is the worst that could happen?

Man, if I had a dollar every time I or someone near me said this, I’d be living next door to Oprah Winfrey with a swimming pool filled with my riches.  Whatever your imagination can dream up is the worst that can happen.  Taking risks is a part of life!  Going skiing, riding a motorcycle, betting it all on black and asking for one more piece of cheesecake area risks people take often.  But the RISK/REWARD factor is a HUGE role in the FIVE QUESTIONS.

2. Will I really feel better after do this?

This question stems from decisions based on anger, hedonism and greed.  Situations that ask this question usually come with a good answer after a night of sleep or talking to a confidant.  You might want to set your boyfriend’s truck on fire after you found out he cheated on you.  Hmm… risk vs. reward: True, you might not get caught.. but there is a great chance you will.  Sleep on it and write him a nasty note the next morning.

3. How will this affect me financially?

This questions revolves around big purchases and impulse buying.  Do you really need that new television?  What about that car… is your family of five really going to fit in the 2013 Corvette?  These are serious ponderings before making the big buy.  An impulse buy of a $200 pair of boots you’ll wear once or taking your bonus check to the bar when you have a pile of bills at home: deplorable idea.  Think before you buy.

4. How great is the death risk?

One night stands, shooting heroine, driving drunk and naked roller coaster riding fall into this category.  Driving drunk while shooting heroin with a guy I picked up at the bar on my way to the Naked Roller Coaster Riding Festival is something I have never done. Yes, sad I know.  Looking back, however, I may have tacked an extra 20 – 30 years on my life.. so there is an upside.  Same goes for you.  And when I say death risk, I don’t mean going skiing or horseback riding.  I’m talking dumb, dangerous stuff.  Stuff like, speeding to work because you overslept, building a fire in your living room (sans fireplace) or getting food from the kiosk in the food court that has no one in line.

5. Am I going to regret this in one, five, ten years?

  • Cutting
  • Tattoos
  • Piercings
  • Breast implants

These are a few things I have heard people talk about regretting.  These are a few things I regret.  Except I never got a boob job, and when I see fifty year old women with jutting breasts, I am kinda happy about my decision.  I cut myself at 13 and 18 (regret).  I have five tattoos and regret all but one of them. I had piercings and (just forewarning you young lasses!) my tongue ring chipped all the enamel off of my teeth.

Just a FYI.

Have you ever done something that, looking back, you wish you hadn’t?  Were you ever in the middle of something and thought “this is a bad idea” but didn’t know how to stop? Share your thoughts.. 😉

Six Sentence Sunday Row 80’s

So it’s Six Sentence Sunday – yeah, just letting anyone who’s been living under a rock.  It is also ROW80 check-in day!  Again, only for the Rock People.

Image courtesy of Sodahead.com My six sentences are from my Zombie Novel In Progress. Oh, it will be sweet!

Michele had asked him to cut a tag off of one of her new tank tops. “Summer tangerine,” she said. He remembered that it just looked like orange. Steve noticed Michele still hadn’t said anything. He tried to engage her, but she wouldn’t talk. Then he heard the footsteps.

Okay, so the six sentences don’t really do it justice.  This blurb is probably one of the few lower key scenes in the whole WIP so far.  I have found that the use of 750words.com is bolstering my productivity and culpability in regard to my writing.  I am almost addicted to it.  Which is no surprise since I have an addictive nature!

This is my first scheduled blog post. I read on Kristen Lamb’s blog before how to so something this amazing and I picked today to do it because if you are reading this on Sunday, I am on a train. Or I am in New York. Or maybe I am somewhere in between… who flipping knows!

Today I am at the International Motorcycle Show with some biker friends.  I will be blogging about that in the coming week.  There will be many pictures.  Also in the coming months I will be covering a heavy metal show in New Jersey.

GOALS are GOOD – GOALS are SWEET – GOALS are… eh, you get it.

  • continue to do 750 words a day on WIP
  • continue to read/comment blogs
  • get to the gym (major slackage on this one last week)
  • organize bills/money/savings

Things I am letting go for the week.

  • Editing my NaNoWriMo novel.  It is frustrating the hell out of me. I am adding/deleting scenes. I’m putting it down for a week.
  • Yelling at people in traffic.
  • Making sure everything is perfect (is this a writer thing?) It is counterproductive.

Happy ROWing ROWers!  Find some Orbitz coupons and join me!

Good luck