Daily Post: Reflecting

Reflecting

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How much reflecting can I really do? The number of people I have lost in my life to suicide is staggering. The number of strangers I’ve lost just the same. Sure, I never knew Chris Cornell, Prince, Kurt… any of them personally. But so what? They shared their deepest feelings with me. They bared their broken and bloody souls and I screamed back, cried back, roared back “I hear you. I get it. I feel the same way.”

But their pain was their pain and my pain is my pain. We never really know what someone is truly going through.

R.I.P.

 

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Daily Prompt: Final Say

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Final Say

I went to visit you today

At some random lake far away,

I brought your hoodie and that candle

Unsure… how much more could I handle?

People say you took the easy way out

They don’t know what they’re talking about,

Although I understand, I am still mad

There were many more memories we could have had,

Last I saw you, I still remember that day

You walked out… I never got my final say.

Daily Prompt – Bitter

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Bitter. What is bitter? Anything I believe is bitter. It’s all in my head; it’s all in my mind. If I want life to be bitter, it will be bitter. If I want life to be sweet, it will be sweet. It really is that simple.

Bitter. A taste, a smell, a feeling.

Bitter apple.

Bitter meat.

Bitter air.

Sweet. A taste, a smell, a feeling.

Sweet apple pie.

Sweet Jerky meat.

Sweet honeysuckle air.

Bitter? Not me, not today… my bitter days are done.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/bitter/

Lifestyle (Heavy Metal)

 

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via Daily Prompt: Lifestyle

People look at me funny when I walk down the street

They cross to the other side and look at their feet,

So what if I wear black, concert tees and too much eyeliner

I’m sure they think their lifestyle is much finer,

But to me nothing could be as good

As music that makes me feel understood,

Our community has a universal sign

Our symbol: devil horns held high,

So, before you decide to judge my looks

Those gutter vocals and demonic hooks,

You should now there is nothing more loyal or true

Than heavy metal lovers and their motley crew.

Abuse: A Personal Essay

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Life was ironing out when I met him. I was fourteen, a sophomore in high school (I was one of those lucky kids born in January) and excited about this new chapter in my life. Adjusting to high school was awkward, but I made a couple friends.

Gym class though… ugh.

My parents were fighting a lot because my father was trying to get sober and not having a good go at it. Life was getting uncomfortable which is why when I got to high school, temptation got the best of me.

There were difficult roads I could have traveled to make life easier, but I chose painful roads that made life difficult.

I met a guy who was way too old for me but that’s what I thought I needed – an older boy with a car, who smoked and had a regular job.

A boy who could get me out of my home life of hell.

And he did.

He was a boy who I fell for blindly; the outside cool and handsome, the inside black and miserable.

He scraped me off one level of hell and dropped me in a deeper one.

First it started with my clothes.

Then it was my make up.

After that it was my friends.

Who is he?

Why is he standing so close to you? I saw you touching him.

Why do you smell like sex?

Ridiculous.

Then it got worse.

I wished for a pair of horse blinders to wear.

We were at a red light in his pick up truck one afternoon and there was a guy on the corner. Waiting for the bus I guess?

I made the mistake of looking to my right and as fast as I saw him, I turned away.

Suddenly, the right side of my face was kissing the passenger side glass.

There was a sharp pain in the left side of my head.

“What are you looking at? Do you wanna fuck that guy? Huh? You think he’s cute?”

What?

I was only looking out the window.

I didn’t mean it.

I’m sorry.

He got out of the truck and approached the man. “You like my girl, huh?”

The man seemed confused.

Suddenly, the man was on the ground being pummeled.

These idiots on the street, walking around minding their own business. Didn’t they know what would happen if I looked at them? If they looked at me?

After that, I scanned the roads as far as I could see, looking for people so I could look away when we got close.

They didn’t know, but I knew. I knew the danger we would be in if I looked at you and you looked at me.

The beatings depended on his mood.

I did my best to make sure he was always happy.

The Daily Prompt: Blindly

 

Panicked in the Subway

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I am freaked out… panicked.

Things were going well with my friends as we slammed back shot after shot.

Now I am in the subway.

But where?

I don’t remember seeing signs for a subway.

I look left.

I look right.

No light at either end of the tunnel.

It’s so dark.

I should start walking.

Oh gosh, am I still drunk?

The floor is vibrating and…

Now I see light at the end of the tunnel.

I should start running.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/panicked/