Frantic Hope

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I got a message the other day

It plainly said they took you away

You told me you were innocent

This was a crime you did not commit

I had frantic hope that this was true

But then I learned the painful truth

There’s so much I wish I could change

Things that I would rearrange

But all we have is the right now

And we’ll make it through this somehow

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/frantic/

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Frantic

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Provoked into Change

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What does it take to change? I mean, think about it. If everything was great all the time, where would be the incentive to do anything different? If life didn’t get uncomfortable sometimes, we would just wallow in mediocrity.

How many times have you been provoked into change? And would you have changed anything if you weren’t provoked? Think about it. People say, “why do bad things happen?” I believe most bad things happen because it’s the only way to get us to change, move, leave or stay.

I made up my mind about two memoirs I will write. The first one is about my journey through the last year of my addiction. It was pretty gruesome. I was provoked into sobriety because life became so unbearable. I lost everything. I have already written half of it in my ‘life story’ that my psychic advisor told me to write.

The other one is the one about the Wagon Wheel after getting kicked out of my psycho in-law’s house. A part of this is also in my ‘life story’ that I have written. In that story, I was hassled into staying in an already dead-end marriage because I had two children and was pregnant with a third. Throw in a crack head husband who steals pallets to make a living along with living in a hotel room above a seedy bar, and I think we have a story.

Writing down my regurgitated thoughts is the easy part. It’s like writing a grocery list or a step by step on how to boil water. Easy Peasy. For me, the editing is the hard part. I have no problem writing, “I wasn’t sure if it was the smell of the dead skunk outside the window or the fact that I was sitting in a puddle of my own blood that woke me up, but whatever it was it ignited a spark in me. A spark that something had to give.” 

But how do I make that pop? How do I make that really jump off the page? That’s where the work comes in. And that is where I’m at right now. April 1st is when I send my polished fiction novel to my editor. And April 1st is when I start breaking down my memoir.

Are you working on anything?

Peace and love my friends. ❤

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/provoke/

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Go For It

key-3087900_960_720At what point do you throw caution and stability to the wind and go after your dream? Do you wait until you have enough money saved? Maybe you wait until most of your debt is paid down. Or maybe, you just keep hoping you’re going to win the lottery and you won’t have to wait for any of that because you’ll be independently wealthy. Hey, Publisher’s Clearing House does knock on people’s doors.

I have been going through a slump of the woe is me’s lately and I know why. I am fortunate in the sense that most times I get down, I can pinpoint why and work my way up from there. I have been working at my job for ten plus years and despite my tenure, some of my coworkers disrespect me often. Now, we have a new person, and I am apparently her assistant as well. It is typical for me to be the low person on the totem pole, but I really think I am just sick of it.

It is what it is until it isn’t what it isn’t.

Sick of driving one plus hour each way to work at a place where I was told that I could ‘be easily replaced.’ The other woman that was also told that line of ignorance grew a set and quit before the holidays. Yes, quit before she got her big Christmas bonus.

Last Friday, I was at work when a snowstorm from hell began its savage beating around noon. My boss was a sweetheart and sent me out in said storm to pick up the pizza he bought for everyone. Then I and the new girl sat here until finally at four pm, he decided we could leave ‘before it got worse.’

It took me SIX HOURS TO GET HOME. I had two breakdowns in the car and only almost got stuck once. Thankfully, I had that giant cyst removed from my ovary last year so I was able to wait six hours and not have to pee (there is a goddess after all!). It was like being in a real-life apocalypse with dark, swirling snow, wind gusts, people screaming, downed trees, cars abandoned in the middle of roads covered in snow drifts.

So, why am I beating your ear with all this crap? Because me telling you is a way for me to tell myself: I tolerate that which I choose to tolerate. I can move when I want. I am an administrative assistant. I can get a job probably anywhere. Will it come with the awesome bonuses and benefits this one does? Most likely not… But, my goal is not to be an administrative assistant forever.

MY GOAL IS TO BECOME A BEST-SELLING AUTHOR.

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I have one book out now, one book coming out March 27, 2018, and my first full-length novel due out this year. 🙂

I was raised to be fearful, which is sad, but so true. Fear will rob you of anything you love if you let it. I am sick of the fear and the negative what-if’s: What if I fail?

Well…. What if I succeed?

So, throw caution to the wind and go after your dreams! Do it. The universe will help you if you believe.

Blessed Be )O(

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/typical/

Permit Me

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The devil paid me a visit

Whispered I was beautiful 

Told me I was the one

Then he opened my heart

Swallowed my soul

He spit out my bones

That seed of self-doubt

Hangs on like a long, final note

That rancid shadow of misery

Permit me to tell you

That I’ve had enough

Permit me to introduce myself

I am raging glory

And I own this moment

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/permit/

 

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Entertain

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I entertain you

With broken words of heartbreak

You are not alone

In this wretched world

I’m here to share your sorrow

To collect your tears

You’ll live through all this

Wounds become scars of healing

Time is the great reckoning

Of forgotten love

Ok, I thought I saw that ‘entertain’ was the word of the day, but the word of the day has disappeared, so who the hell knows. I have been busy with school, and also finalizing my novel – my books sales came to a screeching halt. Most people that bought the book or received a free copy have not left a review. I guess that is just how it goes in the beginning.

Thank you so much to anyone who bought it or picked up a free copy during the promotion. And thank you even more to anyone that left a review! ❤

Love you guys so much for all your support and following. I am still working on Book 2 of poetry as well. Keep your eyes peeled!

❤ Have a great Tuesday

via Daily Prompt: Entertain

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Study Study

Well, sometimes I don’t know why I do the things I do. They are excellent in theory, but when applied to a commoners life, they are downright nonsensical. If you’ve been following along, you might know that I went back to school for my Associate’s in the Arts and at this moment have exactly thirteen credits to go to get my degree. After this semester, I will have six credits left to fulfill.

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I know! It’s so exciting. 😀

I have always been able to study hard, get good grades and mostly do well in school. My fretting is due to this semester: I have two full-length classes (fifteen weeks each), plus I am working Saturday’s at the office and not to mention (but mentioning) that I am in the final edits of my novel while writing the second book of poetry. So, extra school work, extra work hours, extra writing, and financially… my other professors provided books and such via PDF to lighten the financial load. This semester, I had to buy the books and pay out of pocket (not enough financial aid). Can we form a group to fight the robbery of overpriced textbooks?

I know I will be okay, but not knowing what to expect from the professors is I think what is getting me. I am taking Anthropology 101 and Biology. Anthropology I am excited about… Biology, not so much but am keeping a positive attitude.

Hopefully, I will have time to study. I might have to ease up on the writing for the next few months, but I will squeeze it in when I can! Success is all about hard work and sacrifice, right?

In Poetry Through Darkness news, someone left another really nice review of the book and I am ever grateful for that. It means so much to me when people take time out of their busy lives to make some moments for me. So, from the bottom of my heart to anyone who bought a book and/or left a review… thank you so very much. ❤

And yes! I am working on the second book of poetry. I am about thirty poems in so far and I hit a snag of blankness but picked back up with some fresh thoughts yesterday.

Happy Monday! The best thing you can do for yourself is to stay true to you!

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/study/

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Carve A Dream

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Dreams are for losers. That was the message I got when I was a kid. Don’t bother, you’ll never pull it off, you’re a girl, no one would hire you, do something safe. Blah, blah, blah.

Well, let me tell you something. I decimated my dream of being an auto mechanic about twelve years ago, but my dream of being a famous writer is still on the stove and I plan on cooking it up to perfection. I am already published, so I got that foot in the game. But the dream I am carving is a delicacy that I cannot wait to savor and devour.

Every day I envision myself in my log cabin home that sits on fifteen acres of mountainous land somewhere in Pennsylvania. There is a fireplace in the master bedroom, the five guest rooms, and three family rooms. My kitchen is worthy of the most top rated chef and my back deck could fit a party of twenty comfortably. All the decor is rustic, walls are painted earth tones, and the only chrome is outside in my four car garage on my souped up 1970 Monte Carlo. The windows in the cabin are spacious with wide sills so Spirit the Cat has ample room to perch and bird watch. My studio is one part writing and one part art. There is also a library, a home gym, an art room for my husband, and a game room.

If you can dream it, you can do it. And when you do it, put your heart into it. Never let anyone tell you your dreams are foolish or stupid or unreachable. I mean, think of all the things we wouldn’t have if people didn’t dream them up and then make them a reality. Electricity, running water, automobiles, computers, The Clapper, sneaker skates, instant coffee, Flex Seal! The list is endless.

My book is still for sale on Amazon… please leave a review if you have purchased one or grabbed a free one! I really appreciate all of you! ❤ I am still in the final stages of Consequences and am working on the second book of poetry.

What’s your wildest dream?

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/carve/

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