Poetry Through Recovery

So, I was sitting at my desk trying to figure out what to do next and it hit me like a baseball in the sun.  Write about my journey through addiction and recovery. Not the whole thing mind you, parts are pretty boring, but some aren’t. The last year of my addiction and pieces of my recovery are insane, funny and downright heartbreaking.

 

Poetry Through Recovery (1)
Coming June 15, 2018

I mean, I wrote most of my story once, but the whole thing in itself really isn’t fit for human consumption, so this time, on a second go around, I decided to share some of the gritty parts.

People love gritty parts.

Yes, it is called Poetry Through Recovery, but it won’t be all poetry. There will be some personal essays and some funny anecdotes. Just real shit that could maybe help a trainwrecked soul like myself. I did a survey a while back and most people seemed to want to hear about a piece of my life that revolved around living at a place called The Wagon Wheel when I was an eighteen-year-old pregnant mother of two with a crackhead husband.

Trust me, that story is coming. But for some reason, I feel like I need to write this other one first. There is kind of a parallel there, so to speak. When I lived at the Wagon Wheel, I was sober, but living among drunks, addicts, and absolute chaos. Fast forward ten years and it was the same old story, except now I was the drunk asshole. Stories like this – like my story – help people. Maybe I’ll lace Poetry Through Recovery with pieces of the Wagon Wheel. At this point, I feel like I have to.

It’s the only way it’ll all make sense. And sometimes, we need shit to make sense.

Have a blessed day.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/parallel/

 

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Flame

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Luminescent flame; nightly deranged

Sequel in my skin

Where do I begin?

My eyes pierce the glow; heaven unfolds

And just like that

My dreams are here

Like water in the wheel

The vibration consumes me; damp earth, infectious

No one could feel the sting; save for my luminescent heart

That’s just how it goes sometimes…

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/luminescent/

Image: pixabay

Frantic Hope

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I got a message the other day

It plainly said they took you away

You told me you were innocent

This was a crime you did not commit

I had frantic hope that this was true

But then I learned the painful truth

There’s so much I wish I could change

Things that I would rearrange

But all we have is the right now

And we’ll make it through this somehow

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/frantic/

Image: Pixabay

Frantic

Premonition Identical

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Premonition row

A bright and lonely threshold

Stepping through the light

Bend to the righteous

Identical assumptions

I can see through you


 

via Daily Prompt: Premonition

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/identical/

Image: pixabay

Provoked into Change

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What does it take to change? I mean, think about it. If everything was great all the time, where would be the incentive to do anything different? If life didn’t get uncomfortable sometimes, we would just wallow in mediocrity.

How many times have you been provoked into change? And would you have changed anything if you weren’t provoked? Think about it. People say, “why do bad things happen?” I believe most bad things happen because it’s the only way to get us to change, move, leave or stay.

I made up my mind about two memoirs I will write. The first one is about my journey through the last year of my addiction. It was pretty gruesome. I was provoked into sobriety because life became so unbearable. I lost everything. I have already written half of it in my ‘life story’ that my psychic advisor told me to write.

The other one is the one about the Wagon Wheel after getting kicked out of my psycho in-law’s house. A part of this is also in my ‘life story’ that I have written. In that story, I was hassled into staying in an already dead-end marriage because I had two children and was pregnant with a third. Throw in a crack head husband who steals pallets to make a living along with living in a hotel room above a seedy bar, and I think we have a story.

Writing down my regurgitated thoughts is the easy part. It’s like writing a grocery list or a step by step on how to boil water. Easy Peasy. For me, the editing is the hard part. I have no problem writing, “I wasn’t sure if it was the smell of the dead skunk outside the window or the fact that I was sitting in a puddle of my own blood that woke me up, but whatever it was it ignited a spark in me. A spark that something had to give.” 

But how do I make that pop? How do I make that really jump off the page? That’s where the work comes in. And that is where I’m at right now. April 1st is when I send my polished fiction novel to my editor. And April 1st is when I start breaking down my memoir.

Are you working on anything?

Peace and love my friends. ❤

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/provoke/

Image: Pixabay

Dim

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How is everyone? I have been so busy and it is driving me nuts because my busyness is focused on things I must do (work, laundry, school – not doing well in biology) instead of things I want to do (writing, editing, exercise). I am still telling everyone my second book will drop on March 27th! Pre-order your physical copy today. I can’t do a presale for the Kindle book for some reason… KDP is starting to get on my nerves. My writing future surely is dim if I don’t figure out a better way to market myself and my work.

I did, however, receive my first payment as an author! ❤ It went into my bank account this morning.

Besides two books of poetry published and a novel due to publish later this year, I have been thinking about my next project:

A MEMOIR.

But here is the thing… I have been blessed with so much craziness and irony in my life that I am having a hard time narrowing down which part to write about. My psychic advisor told me to write my life story, but I am not famous yet so no one cares about my entire life. So, I want to write about a part of my life that will help or inspire people to know they can overcome obstacles in their life.

Here are a few of the topics I would like to write about:

  • My journey through my last year of addiction and into my first year of sobriety.
  • Being married, 19 and pregnant, and raising two small children while living in a bar motel room for a year from 1991 – 1992. (It was pretty crazy)
  • My last full year of addiction, which was ridiculous.

So those are a few topics I would like to write about. I am strongly considering the second choice. Which would you choose?

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/dim/

 

Image: Pixabay

Bewildered

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Bewildered. Floored. Muddled. Thunderstruck. You get the gist.

That is me since I released my first publication in December 2017. Now, to be fair, only .000000001% of the world population even knows I exist and when you look at those numbers, the fact that ten people bought ebooks, 37 people downloaded free copies and 3 people bought physical copies (I bought the other ten) is pretty effing good. It’s even better since I absolutely suck at self-promotion. I always feel like I am annoying people, being a nag… you know, like a gnat only bigger.

Bzzzzz………………………..

I just need to get this idea out of my head that I annoy people when I tweet, FB, Pinterest, Google+, or LinkedIn a link to my book. I think I also need to realize I am comparing myself and my stats to other people and I need to stop doing that. Like, now.

And I don’t mean poets like Maya Angelou or Emily Dickenson (is there any comparison, really?); more like poets I see on Amazon in the same category as me. But I have to put it in perspective to keep my sanity. Who the hell knows how long their books have been for sale? I mean, who the hell do I think I am? My book has literally been available for nine weeks.

There are so many doors of opportunity for me and patience, hard work, and determination will help me get through whichever I choose. That I know. I cannot give up.

When I first started this blog/site in 2007, it was actually called The Daily Woman and it was my daily posts about how to do great things. I did that about a year despite my lack of commitment along with my severe lack of networking and marketing skills. No one was interested in anything I had to say.

So, I made it a blog about addiction and kept the name. Despite the fact that there are hundreds if not thousands of blogs and websites about addiction, my story was unique. So I shared my journey through addiction and sobriety with everyone. I stuck with that a while and met some really great people that I maintain friendships with today. But like I said, everyone was talking about it and in such a dynamic way, my site was basically just a “Living Sober” testament that it could be done.

Then, I just stopped. For a good two years. I went outside, stretched in the sunlight, and broke up with my boyfriend of six years after I realized how toxic he was.

But I still had to write. I couldn’t not write.

So I made DAMSWriter after a great presentation I watched by Jeff Goins. And here I am. Still sober, still goofy, and still writing.

Maybe my bewilderment is based on fear… I mean, I let most of myself out in my writing, but I have yet to let all of me out in my writing. What would that look like? Should I really write the same way I journal? Hmmm…

I am working on the second book of poetry – not giving up! Also, still working on Consequences, which I hope everyone will love as much as I do. ❤

Thank you to every single person who bought or downloaded a free copy of Poetry Through Darkness. It truly means so much to me! You all rock.

via Daily Prompt: Bewildered

Image: Pixabay

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/bewildered/