Poetry Through Recovery

So, I was sitting at my desk trying to figure out what to do next and it hit me like a baseball in the sun.  Write about my journey through addiction and recovery. Not the whole thing mind you, parts are pretty boring, but some aren’t. The last year of my addiction and pieces of my recovery are insane, funny and downright heartbreaking.

 

Poetry Through Recovery (1)
Coming June 15, 2018

I mean, I wrote most of my story once, but the whole thing in itself really isn’t fit for human consumption, so this time, on a second go around, I decided to share some of the gritty parts.

People love gritty parts.

Yes, it is called Poetry Through Recovery, but it won’t be all poetry. There will be some personal essays and some funny anecdotes. Just real shit that could maybe help a trainwrecked soul like myself. I did a survey a while back and most people seemed to want to hear about a piece of my life that revolved around living at a place called The Wagon Wheel when I was an eighteen-year-old pregnant mother of two with a crackhead husband.

Trust me, that story is coming. But for some reason, I feel like I need to write this other one first. There is kind of a parallel there, so to speak. When I lived at the Wagon Wheel, I was sober, but living among drunks, addicts, and absolute chaos. Fast forward ten years and it was the same old story, except now I was the drunk asshole. Stories like this – like my story – help people. Maybe I’ll lace Poetry Through Recovery with pieces of the Wagon Wheel. At this point, I feel like I have to.

It’s the only way it’ll all make sense. And sometimes, we need shit to make sense.

Have a blessed day.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/parallel/

 

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Flame

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Luminescent flame; nightly deranged

Sequel in my skin

Where do I begin?

My eyes pierce the glow; heaven unfolds

And just like that

My dreams are here

Like water in the wheel

The vibration consumes me; damp earth, infectious

No one could feel the sting; save for my luminescent heart

That’s just how it goes sometimes…

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/luminescent/

Image: pixabay

Explore Your World

I love exploring different towns… especially those with old, dilapidated buildings and ancient cemeteries. These are the places that speak to me and help me to feel inner peace. These are also places that spark new stories in my mind. My editor has my current novel and I will be starting a new one in May. I’m in the process of narrowing down the town.

It will take place in Pennsylvania.

I’m not sure why it is places like these that get into my soul and move me to place myself mentally in the olden days of minimal technology and maximum open space. But I love it.

One of my dreams is to buy a kick-ass RV and travel around the country with my husband and cat, exploring the back roads of America. It’s going to happen. 🙂

Have a great day, folks!

Do you explore your world? How about places around you? I want to hear about it! 🙂

Live your life. ❤

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/explore/

Frantic Hope

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I got a message the other day

It plainly said they took you away

You told me you were innocent

This was a crime you did not commit

I had frantic hope that this was true

But then I learned the painful truth

There’s so much I wish I could change

Things that I would rearrange

But all we have is the right now

And we’ll make it through this somehow

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/frantic/

Image: Pixabay

Frantic

Premonition Identical

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Premonition row

A bright and lonely threshold

Stepping through the light

Bend to the righteous

Identical assumptions

I can see through you


 

via Daily Prompt: Premonition

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/identical/

Image: pixabay

Provoked into Change

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What does it take to change? I mean, think about it. If everything was great all the time, where would be the incentive to do anything different? If life didn’t get uncomfortable sometimes, we would just wallow in mediocrity.

How many times have you been provoked into change? And would you have changed anything if you weren’t provoked? Think about it. People say, “why do bad things happen?” I believe most bad things happen because it’s the only way to get us to change, move, leave or stay.

I made up my mind about two memoirs I will write. The first one is about my journey through the last year of my addiction. It was pretty gruesome. I was provoked into sobriety because life became so unbearable. I lost everything. I have already written half of it in my ‘life story’ that my psychic advisor told me to write.

The other one is the one about the Wagon Wheel after getting kicked out of my psycho in-law’s house. A part of this is also in my ‘life story’ that I have written. In that story, I was hassled into staying in an already dead-end marriage because I had two children and was pregnant with a third. Throw in a crack head husband who steals pallets to make a living along with living in a hotel room above a seedy bar, and I think we have a story.

Writing down my regurgitated thoughts is the easy part. It’s like writing a grocery list or a step by step on how to boil water. Easy Peasy. For me, the editing is the hard part. I have no problem writing, “I wasn’t sure if it was the smell of the dead skunk outside the window or the fact that I was sitting in a puddle of my own blood that woke me up, but whatever it was it ignited a spark in me. A spark that something had to give.” 

But how do I make that pop? How do I make that really jump off the page? That’s where the work comes in. And that is where I’m at right now. April 1st is when I send my polished fiction novel to my editor. And April 1st is when I start breaking down my memoir.

Are you working on anything?

Peace and love my friends. ❤

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/provoke/

Image: Pixabay

Captivating

 

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Lehigh Gorge – Pennsylvania ©2018 DAM Steelman

 

Real quick… the hubs and I went to the Lehigh Gorge yesterday in Pennsylvania. It is near Jim Thorpe, PA and it is truly captivating. Nature – all of it – is captivating. I sat on a rock by a waterfall yesterday and just listened for a good five minutes. Those are the moments that re-center me.

So surreal.

Nature helps me in so many ways. It is no wonder I am kind of sad today.  Sometimes, when I am out in nature, I kind of realize I am not being true to myself when I go back to life on life’s terms. I am not living up to my potential. I am living for others, which can be okay at times – when people depend on us. But, my kids are grown.

What the hell am I doing with my life? Could I be going through a mid-life crisis at 45? Or am I just outgrowing my shell? What is the next step? My husband and I have been talking about moving to Arizona.

Is that in the cards?

Stay tuned… ❤

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/captivating/