A Work in Progress

3e4ace41fb0bd063ef53b32735a26d2fGood morning fellow humans… I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I wanted to tell everyone that there are now officially three poetry books for sale on Amazon. Click on the link to the right and it will take you to the page.

Also, I am entertaining the thought of self-publishing ‘Consequences’  despite my husband being strongly against it. He feels I should keep submitting to traditional publishers and agents.

I signed up to do NaNoWriMo this year against my better judgment and I totally shit the bed on it. I got about ten days in and was so busy with other things, that I didn’t keep up with my word count and not only that, I have just been in a negative type of mood and it is impacting me in a negative way.

I believe in energy, so I know that the reason all this negative shit is going on around me is a direct result of my state of mind.

My books aren’t selling and I totally get it. I didn’t do any serious marketing and also I don’t belong to any poetry groups or anything close to it, so no one knows I exist. That’s acceptable for now. I check my Amazon once a week.

In other news… I keep bumping up against resistance at the day job and I am taking it as my subconscious creating it because while it pays decent, it is a dead-end job. I will always only be an administrative assistant. It is one of the most non-creative positions I have had in my life. I mean, I could be creative, but I am micro-managed a lot, and you know how that goes.

In other, other news… I will have my Associate’s Degree in Liberal Arts by January! 🙂 Super happy about that. I plan on taking a year off and then going after my Bachelor’s in Environmental Science.

So, since I am feeling the pull-down, I insist on recognizing it, accepting it, and then moving away from it. The longer I sit in my negative garbage, the more it affects me in a negative way.

Once this semester is over, I am going to take great steps to reclaim my sanity and begin journaling/meditating for at least thirty minutes a day. I know therein lies great peace and calm.

Do you have any holiday plans? How about NaNoWriMo… did you or are you participating?

Blessed Be. )O(

(Photo credit – “A Better Me” – Pinterest)

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One Step Closer

2Hi everyone… I have been away for a while and I am sorry for that. I started my last semester at college, am working on the finalization of Poetry through Recovery and… well, see that picture? That is my cover for my first full-length novel which will have a release date very soon!

I got a few more rejections from some publishers and literary agents, but I am not giving up. I have faith in this story and the writing style. I love this story and know that because I love it, this book will be a huge success.

In other news, one of my personal essays was accepted into an anthology for 2019! I am super excited about this and will release more information when I get it.

I think about all the times I ever wanted to give up on myself; all the times that I felt like everyone gave up on me. All those times I was so close to suicide and not being able to find one reason to hold on. Still, somehow I forced myself to wait one more day, one more hour, one more moment and I am so glad I did. Look at everything I would have missed!

Never ever give up on yourself. You are on this planet for a reason, and that reason might not be known to you in your moment of darkness, but know that there is one. When we are in darkness, we obviously can see no light, but it is always there, waiting for us to reach out and let it touch our heart and hope.

Have an awesome day and stay true to yourself. ❤

Poetry Through Recovery

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Well, it’s almost finished… this is the most difficult book I have ever written and I guess that means something. Scheduled for release on Wednesday, October 31, 2018. Halloween, I know… an important festive day in my life.

I had to burrow into my soul to write this as I thought long about how to approach this book. Did I want it to be some woe-is-me chronological account of my life while I was using and getting sober? Or did I want to approach it in a more emotional way so that while I wrote it, I could actually feel what I felt before and during my recovery?

I opted for the latter because I know there are people out there that still struggle with addiction and recovery. A lot of us think and thought that it was supposed to be some cakewalk. Newly clean and sober people see ‘oldheads’ living their lives in some bodacious harmony and sometimes it’s discouraging because that type of living seems a million moons away. But, it isn’t that far away for any of us.

So that is what I touch on in my memoir as a poetic and essay-ic journey through my last year of using into my first year and beyond in recovery. It’s not pretty sometimes and it’s not supposed to be.

…it’s never too late for a second chance…

Present the Present

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Here I am

Scarred, bruised; a little broken

But my present is the present

Gone are the moments of moments ago

Lost is the pain that gripped me so snug

Right now is a gift that keeps giving

I can’t go back – cannot go forward

Always in the present moment.

https://fivedotoh.com/2018/07/17/fowc-with-fandango-present/

Image: pixabay

Zen and the Art of Being

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©2018 DAMGarrity

I took this picture yesterday at the Lehigh River. This first stack of Zen Rocks I ever made was a therapeutic moment in my life. It took only minutes, but I learned a lot.

One, even though there was activity all around me (people conversing, kids playing in the river, my husband talking nearby as he did his own thing) I remained intently focused on my task at hand. Once I finished my zen rocks and sat quietly for a few minutes, I readjusted to the reality around me, pulled out my cellphone and snapped this picture.

There were other zen rocks around me that I appreciated and nodded at as I walked the brief shoreline of the river. There were so many people sitting in chairs in the river, splashing about and sitting on towels in the dirt eating lunch. The energy was incredible and I inhaled all that energy in the oxygen around me, paused, then exhaled every tense fiber of my being. It was in that moment, I finally learned what it meant to JUST BE.

My husband and I did other things that day, too. We walked on the Appalachian Trail briefly yesterday and realized a few things: one, the trail is no joke (we would watch a documentary later that night about the AT and find out we did alright considering the Pennsylvania terrain). Number two, if you really want to do something, you just have to freaking do it.

What am I sitting around waiting for? All these wasted days of worry and fretting over shit that either hasn’t happened yet or has happened and I can’t change does me no good. After we got home yesterday, we took quick little power naps, made coffee, had some burgers and dogs, watched fireworks and then put on a documentary about the AT and were so inspired by these people who left their daily lives to just go BE. These people who I am sure had jobs, ideas – life in some town somewhere in the world – gave most of it or even all of it up to go live on the AT and hike (mostly by foot) from Georgia to Maine or Maine to Georgia.

This morning, I awoke to the sun beaming through my bedroom window and as I did my normal morning routine, felt more peaceful than I ever did before. I did my morning meditation with more conviction, I journaled, I got my coffee, watched the weather, then left for work after I kissed my husband ‘see you later.’

I just feel different today; I feel more hopeful. I have direction and plan on using it to steer me exactly where I want to be.

Blessed be.

 

 

Getting Closer

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Good morning, everyone. How are things going for you? Happy Summer Solstice. Daylight has been creeping in each day and now it will be with us for the longest time of the year on this day. Hopefully, you find yourself outdoors on this fine day no matter the weather. Nature makes everything better.

I am halfway through my final edits on Consequences. I even have a book cover! Check it out:

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I am so excited! I have picked this cover to have my bases covered… I am opting to traditionally publish my book, although these days it is harder moreso than it used to be. I won’t give up! 🙂

In other news, I am practicing mindfulness and also NOT watching the news or anything like it. I wish everyone knew what all this negative bullshit does to the mind, body, and soul. Unless you have the means and are actually going to do something about it, there is no point in getting all worked up and shitty over something. Also, the media has a great track record of blowing things out of proportion with fear mongering. Stop falling for it. I have limited my Social Media use. After my stomach being in knots yesterday, I decided news pages, tv news and any kind of news is bad for me. I cannot contribute to my life or mother earth if I am in a poor state of mind. In essence, the only thing I can control is me. I mean, how many times have you ever changed someone’s mind by incessant nagging, really.

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So, I am on a quest for self-absolution and inner zen. I did great this morning with a ‘mindful driving meditation.’ The trick is not so much to be happy all the time but to just be, period. Happiness is awesome, yes. But to just be and settle down into calm is the key. I need to stay in the mellow to happy zone and stay clear of anything on the backside of the middle. These days that can be difficult! But, I really want this. Each day I get a little closer to where I want to be by appreciating where I am in the moment. That’s the trick I heard. In order to get closer to the things we want, we have to be grateful for what we have, and I truly am. I meditate each morning and make a list of all the things I am grateful for. It sets my mood each time…

Have an awesome first day of summer! Blessed be. ❤

The Last Daily Prompt

bible-3370021_960_720Retrospective is the final prompt which apparently at one time was afterthought if you look at the link, but oh well. I am going to miss the Daily Prompt not only because sometimes I am at a loss for ideas on what to write about, but because I met so many cool people, found some cool blogs and gained a shit ton of followers. I noticed, too, that when I don’t link to an outside source my blog gets way fewer hits.

Most of the blogs I follow are in the reader, which I love. I can go to the reader and find my favorite followed blogs and also put in certain words for new blogs to follow. For example, if I type in the word retrospective, I might find some great blogs I normally would never find. Or maybe I type the word river, or just click on any one of the different keywords in my follower to see who has what to write today. Some of my keywords are related to mental health because I love to read about people overcoming obstacles.

So, this is our last shot at going to one page to find our friends or blogs we love to see in that gaggle of squares on The Daily Post page. I will keep looking for a similar format to join without having to join anything… that was kind of the beauty of this. There was no pressure… no email, or reminder. If I wanted to go to the page and write about the prompt, I could. I didn’t have to do anything. All I needed was a WordPress blog and to link back to the page.

Let’s not be strangers… get on WordPress, go to that followed blogs page and see all the wonder bestowed upon you. Click on some random keywords and find something worth reading… maybe you’ll find a new daily prompt. I know I’ll be looking.

Thanks for checking out my words… Blessed Be. ❤

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/afterthought/