A Work in Progress

3e4ace41fb0bd063ef53b32735a26d2fGood morning fellow humans… I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I wanted to tell everyone that there are now officially three poetry books for sale on Amazon. Click on the link to the right and it will take you to the page.

Also, I am entertaining the thought of self-publishing ‘Consequences’  despite my husband being strongly against it. He feels I should keep submitting to traditional publishers and agents.

I signed up to do NaNoWriMo this year against my better judgment and I totally shit the bed on it. I got about ten days in and was so busy with other things, that I didn’t keep up with my word count and not only that, I have just been in a negative type of mood and it is impacting me in a negative way.

I believe in energy, so I know that the reason all this negative shit is going on around me is a direct result of my state of mind.

My books aren’t selling and I totally get it. I didn’t do any serious marketing and also I don’t belong to any poetry groups or anything close to it, so no one knows I exist. That’s acceptable for now. I check my Amazon once a week.

In other news… I keep bumping up against resistance at the day job and I am taking it as my subconscious creating it because while it pays decent, it is a dead-end job. I will always only be an administrative assistant. It is one of the most non-creative positions I have had in my life. I mean, I could be creative, but I am micro-managed a lot, and you know how that goes.

In other, other news… I will have my Associate’s Degree in Liberal Arts by January! 🙂 Super happy about that. I plan on taking a year off and then going after my Bachelor’s in Environmental Science.

So, since I am feeling the pull-down, I insist on recognizing it, accepting it, and then moving away from it. The longer I sit in my negative garbage, the more it affects me in a negative way.

Once this semester is over, I am going to take great steps to reclaim my sanity and begin journaling/meditating for at least thirty minutes a day. I know therein lies great peace and calm.

Do you have any holiday plans? How about NaNoWriMo… did you or are you participating?

Blessed Be. )O(

(Photo credit – “A Better Me” – Pinterest)

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One Step Closer

2Hi everyone… I have been away for a while and I am sorry for that. I started my last semester at college, am working on the finalization of Poetry through Recovery and… well, see that picture? That is my cover for my first full-length novel which will have a release date very soon!

I got a few more rejections from some publishers and literary agents, but I am not giving up. I have faith in this story and the writing style. I love this story and know that because I love it, this book will be a huge success.

In other news, one of my personal essays was accepted into an anthology for 2019! I am super excited about this and will release more information when I get it.

I think about all the times I ever wanted to give up on myself; all the times that I felt like everyone gave up on me. All those times I was so close to suicide and not being able to find one reason to hold on. Still, somehow I forced myself to wait one more day, one more hour, one more moment and I am so glad I did. Look at everything I would have missed!

Never ever give up on yourself. You are on this planet for a reason, and that reason might not be known to you in your moment of darkness, but know that there is one. When we are in darkness, we obviously can see no light, but it is always there, waiting for us to reach out and let it touch our heart and hope.

Have an awesome day and stay true to yourself. ❤

A Man’s Journey Into Darkness – Patrick Lynch

I love this new era of writing… we get to meet so many different writers and authors from all over the world in so many different ways. There are poets, novelists, essayists, etc. that brim with talent and potential.

I met a gentleman in one of my Facebook writer groups and he asked me to take a look at his short story, A Man’s Journey Into Darkness. It’s a good story with potential to be a great story.

A Man’s Journey Into Darkness – Patrick Lynch

This is a quick read published on the WordPress blog, Cold Coffee Stand. Patrick is originally from Ireland and moved around Europe a bit before finding himself back in his home island. He wrote one liners, limericks and jokes, short birthday wish ( verses) before dabbling in story writing.

You can find Patrick Lynch on Facebook here.

I’ll be back in a few days friends! Keep shining that love on our planet.

Blessed Be.

My First Author Event

The Growing Power Of Social MediaYes! I can’t believe it but it is true.

I signed up for my first ever Author Event in my community. I cried tears of joy after I read the official email. It’s called Quakertown Alive! and it takes place in the middle of town. There is an Author’s Corner, food vendors, craft vendors, activities, etc. I am super excited.

On top of that, I started my last semester at community college. After this, I will have my Associate’s Degree in Liberal Arts!

As I continue to write Poetry through Recovery, I realize so many of these wonderful things in my life wouldn’t be possible without my sobriety. Painful to write but oh so necessary. Part of the way we get to keep our recovery and sobriety is to give it away.

When I first got sober my life was a multi-car trainwreck and I never thought I’d ever get my shit together. I am just living proof that even the biggest fuckups can put together a semblance of a life and live true to their soul.

If you’re in the area, please stop by and see me! I will be selling and signing books… plus giving away some fun gifts.

Poetry Through Recovery

PTR Cover

Well, it’s almost finished… this is the most difficult book I have ever written and I guess that means something. Scheduled for release on Wednesday, October 31, 2018. Halloween, I know… an important festive day in my life.

I had to burrow into my soul to write this as I thought long about how to approach this book. Did I want it to be some woe-is-me chronological account of my life while I was using and getting sober? Or did I want to approach it in a more emotional way so that while I wrote it, I could actually feel what I felt before and during my recovery?

I opted for the latter because I know there are people out there that still struggle with addiction and recovery. A lot of us think and thought that it was supposed to be some cakewalk. Newly clean and sober people see ‘oldheads’ living their lives in some bodacious harmony and sometimes it’s discouraging because that type of living seems a million moons away. But, it isn’t that far away for any of us.

So that is what I touch on in my memoir as a poetic and essay-ic journey through my last year of using into my first year and beyond in recovery. It’s not pretty sometimes and it’s not supposed to be.

…it’s never too late for a second chance…

New Ideas

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I am still bummed they stopped doing the daily post and that has dulled my motivation to blog. Edits for the novel are almost complete, along with some new entries for Poetry Through Recovery which still does not have an official release date.

Despite the delays, I came up with another great idea for myself since I have so much to offer the world.

I am starting a YouTube Channel. Yes! How exciting, right? It’s going to be a trial and error thing at first because I have some issues with talking (it’s why I am a writer) but I want to do this because I feel a deep calling in me. (I guess it helps that I am taking a public speaking class in the fall!)

My YouTube Channel is going to be about getting through the bullshit of feelings, to put it bluntly, so people can live their best life. There will be an edge about living sober because one of the biggest reasons why people abuse drugs is because they don’t know how to deal. In light of this sick, sad opiate epidemic, I feel like it is something I need to do since opiates almost killed me and I am here to tell the tale of survival. I am attending a viewing tonight of a young woman who died last week as a result of opiate abuse. 😦

There has to be a way to stop all of this insanity, and I believe the first major step is self-awareness.

The username is irrelevant to the cause right now (it is Ninja500Chic – I used to ride a motorcycle!), but that link name will be changing to something more appropriate to what I want to do… which is help people with the truth about living sober. And not just sober, really. Living life free from the bullshit of regret and the past.

I am still figuring all of this out. Meditation has been a cornerstone in my life recently and let me tell you, it helps. A lot. It really makes sense to me now how life situations come in piles instead of droplets.

I am so excited about this! ❤ Stay tuned my friends… this is going to be beautiful.

Please, go to YouTube and follow my channel for upcoming videos about how to live your best life whether you are sober, want to be sober or are struggling to stay sober. Maybe you have a family member who struggles with addiction… this channel will help you to see inside the mind of an addict from both sides.

Right now, the channel is: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfmkKfG9HbB0SmKKg-rgg0w

The username is:

https://www.youtube.com/user/Ninja500Chic

Image: matthewmister.com

Present the Present

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Here I am

Scarred, bruised; a little broken

But my present is the present

Gone are the moments of moments ago

Lost is the pain that gripped me so snug

Right now is a gift that keeps giving

I can’t go back – cannot go forward

Always in the present moment.

https://fivedotoh.com/2018/07/17/fowc-with-fandango-present/

Image: pixabay