I know it doesn’t really bear repeating, but I am super stoked that I am officially a published author. 🙂 I learned a long time ago to fake it ’til I make it and these days I am doing just that. I envision myself at my amazing desk in my cozy home office writing books while I have a grand view of the acres of woods outside my rustic cabin in Upstate Pennsylvania. This has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl going camping with the family at Parker Dam. There is a fire roaring in the stone fireplace centered in the great room.
Now, most people think extravagant and think jewels, riches, furs, diamond encrusted mansions with diamond encrusted poodles. But that isn’t me. Extravagant to me is a log cabin, woodland creatures and about two feet of snow because I don’t need to worry about it. I have all the firewood and kindle I need, a stocked fridge and Spirit the Cat has the best view in the house as he lays on his grand windowsill that overlooks the west corner.
My husband is working on an art project in his studio at the other end of the cabin while a delicious meal stews in the crockpot of the chef’s kitchen complete with stainless steel appliances, brick oven, and seating for twenty.
One never knows when the family might drop by for a weekend visit!
This is all extravagant because I don’t need it. I don’t need a five bedroom six bathroom house with a kitchen bigger than a first-floor apartment, a five-car garage, and seventy-five acres, a wrap around porch and a breathtaking view out every window.
I don’t need it. But I want it so I envision myself there every single day. I see myself making a cup of coffee in my rustic kitchen and taking it into my library to curl up in a cozy chair by the crackling fire as snow gently falls outside. Spirit the Cat rests on his favorite flannel blanket beside the fire as the music of J. R. Jones falls from surround sound speakers throughout the house.
This isn’t extravagant living for some, but it is for me. And I will manifest this scenario until it happens and then keep manifesting.
Happy New Year my friends… thank you so much for your support and following my blog here. I love you all!
Did you have a cozy holiday weekend? I hope so. I did. We no longer have a fireplace but the hubs and I put one of those TV ones on with the Christmas music and had an enjoyable Christmas Morning with Spirit the Cat. I got a bean and spice grinder and so made some fresh coffee for us. We both got some new PJs and that made it even cozier!
So, my novel, Consequences, is currently being checked over one last time by me before I make a date with a great editor referred by a friend. I had sent her the first ten pages and she looked through it and gave me some pointers. I did notice a few things that needed sprucing and that’s what I am doing now.
My first publication, Poetry Through Darkness, is available on Amazon at the moment. Despite being for sale right now, I have a secret to share with you! It will be free this Saturday and Sunday! Yes. One whole weekend the kindle version of Poetry Through Darkness will be free. I could use some reviews on it so if you buy it or wait until it is free, please leave a review. I am hoping to generate some interest along with the other over 1,000,000 books currently for sale on Amazon. My father would see that and tell me to not even bother, and twenty years ago I would have listened.
The New Year approaches and we all know what that means… resolutions! Or as I like to call them… goals.
I don’t have many this year.
Get my novel published.
Pay off some debt.
Get back in shape.
*be able to quit the day job*
They are the big three – and one wing and a prayer one – for me. The novel is a huge one. I feel like this novel is the one! I truly do. I was thinking of doing some character posts. I have read these before. The writer posts a blurb from one of the main characters as if the character is speaking directly to the audience. Have you ever seen anything like this and what did you think?
I hope you all have an awesome rest of your week! It is bitter cold here on the East Coast today so I am truly doing my best to stay cozy. Being at work, however, they frown upon fuzzy blankets, good books, and giant mugs of hot chocolate!
Today’s word is confess which is perfect for an end of year rambling or musing. Have you ever gone to an actual confession? Have you been inside a Catholic church amidst the beauty of stained glass and statues to step inside the confessional and sit opposite a priest only separated by a screen and self-loathing? I have not had the pleasure. Or maybe the agony? I suppose it depends upon the outcome. My ex-mother-in-law was big on Catholic Shame and confession, so anything I learned about it was mostly from her incessant crazed kitchen table sermons.
At the end of the year, I do an inventory of my thoughts, actions, deeds, etc. This probably seems arrogant and for me to write about it, even more, pretentious. But I do it for a reason and that reason is that I need to know if I am a better or worse version of myself that before. Does that make sense?
It takes some serious honesty and since there was a time in my life when that word made my skin crawl like a vampire in sunlight, it is exciting. I like being honest with myself and I know when I am and when I’m not.
I haven’t kept the clutter in the house at the minimum I wanted to and it is a little out of control. I have this awful habit of letting junk mail and magazines and papers pile up to a ridiculous amount. It isn’t Hoarders worthy, but it gets pretty absurd and it drives my husband nuts. Sometimes I do catch it in time and as I throw most of it away, I always think, “why do I always do this? I throw it away every damn time. Why don’t I save myself the trouble and the clutter and just get rid of it in the first place?”
What do I need to hold on to so bad? I don’t.
I made a point of telling myself that this coming year will be different as I am starting to get rid of all the junk before the first day of 2018. I am checking off to-do lists before that fateful day of cleaned out refrigerators, overstuffed gyms, and such.
I am always worried I won’t be able to get everyone something for Christmas… everyone tells me not to worry about it. It’s being with family that is most important, and that is true. But I still love to see people open gifts on Christmas morning!
This year I was torn between splurging on my family and keeping it reasonable so I can pay down some of my debt. I opted for the latter and got everyone something modest so I can still pay some of my bills. I think the phrase for this is being a responsible adult.
I never thought that day would come for me!
Everyone have a lovely weekend and be safe out there… lotsa crazies!
They say none of us know what we look like because we never get to see ourselves. A mirror is a reflection; not the real thing. If you feel pretty, when you look in the mirror you’ll see pretty. If you feel ugly, when you look in the mirror, you’ll see ugly. A mirror isn’t a reflection of what you see. It is a reflection of what you think and feel.
So, the mirror isn’t really the miracle at all. The miracle is that you have so much power to shape your world and it all starts with how you look at yourself.
As 2017 comes to a close, I hope that you will reflect on all the wonderful things you’ve accomplished in the last twelve months of your life. True, there may be some things that got sidetracked or even shoved into a dark hole.
That’s fine. Shit happens.
Despite the reflection of me looking back at me not really looking like me, I talk to it anyway. I ain’t easy on it either. I’m hard on people and even harder on myself. I need to be the best me I can be. All these chances I got in life and I’m still here? Yeah…
It truly is miraculous that I am still alive. I should have been dead a long time ago but for whatever reason, I breathe. I can’t just take that lightly.
So, A blessed yule and happy winter solstice to you. It’s a miracle any of us are here, really. Don’t take that shit for granted.
I guess a log cabin in the woods isn’t everyone’s idea of a dream filled life. But for me, it is where I have always felt the most peace. Being surrounded by woods, critters and a nearby stream is my piece of peace.
The calling for me happened when I was a kid and my family would go up to this place called Parker Dam and spend seven days in a one-room cabin so rustic one might think they were transported back to the early nineteen hundreds. Back then, there were no shopping plazas, WalMarts, or housing developments made out of two by fours and plasterboard. There were acres and acres of forests and mountains and it was simplistically lovely.
Now, despite my calling to go live in a place like this and tune out technology, traffic jams and a forty hour soul-crushing job, I have a lot of fear that I have been living with since I was about seven. This fear prevented me from doing a lot of things with my life.
Not sure how I got this anxiety, but it stuck with me like crusty dog poop on my shoe. I have scraped the proverbial dog droppings from my sole and my soul and now pursue what I want and love. I have one published book and God willing, will have one more before Summer 2018.
I am determined to live in a damn cabin in the woods even if it is only on the last day of my life. I’ve got it all planned out down to the location, the build, and even the fireplace. I know what the driveway looks like, how many acres I have, how many deer live on my land and even what my cat’s favorite window looks like. You have to visualize what you want and then take steps to get it.
So. My calling is to be an author and through that, help people with their lives, their loss, their dreams. I know I will do it. I have dragged my ass long enough!
So, I am officially an author now and this truly blows my mind. My first publication, Poetry Through Darkness, is at #25 in New Releases in Women’s Poetry right now. The paperback is out and available for order! The Kindle version will be available on January 1st.
I am going to do some giveaways next week so stay tuned for that! I am aware that self-publishing can start out as an uphill battle so I have realistic expectations despite my daydreaming about being a blockbuster novelist!
It’s funny how the compass of life changes direction sometimes without warning. It is important to embrace change because it really does come full blast once in a while! And sometimes if it doesn’t change, we have to change it.
In other news, I am currently volunteering on a ranch for abused farm animals. I saw a segment on 69 News and thought it would be cool to help out. This is something I would have never considered two or five years ago. But again, that compass of life… who the hell knows where it’s gonna take me? I love animals and it is an amazing experience.
I have also been doing a gratitude journal every day and that helps… a lot. I tend to get a little inside myself and snappy so keeping a list on my phone of things I am grateful for helps me rebalance and stop the negativity. I have the Penzu app and I can just go right to it in case I need to stop for a second and breathe!
So that is it, for now, friends. I am still writing poetry and sprucing up my novel to give back to my editor early next year.