Copy That

Alright… While I work on my novel, I made an executive decision to continue pursuing a writing career in other ways and help out other writers.

This brings me to BAD WRITING.

 

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Really, Snoopy?

Bad writing is all around us, my friends. Click on any content mill website and immerse yourself in the whimsical ways of writers who know not what they do (or maybe they know and don’t care) and get paid very little – if anything – to do it.

I am not good at selling or pimping myself (I am a writer after all) so my hopes of this self-petting not being painful are pretty vain.

I am already feeling uncomfortable and icky inside while I sit here trying to tell you why you need me in your life. *Excuse me while I bathe in bathroom wipes*

You need me because I am honest; I am reasonable; I won’t string you along. I won’t tell you it took two hours to do a job when it only took one.

Enjoy the rest of your week.

 

 

 

 

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Realistic Goals for 2017 – Can You Dig It?

 

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You accomplish nothing when you aim at nothing.

 

Okay… we used to call them resolutions and that got us no freaking where.  Around 2012, I called them goals and I don’t know if I was the brainiac who thought it up or what, but it caught on and now people call them New Year Goals and hey… it works for me no matter who thought it up first.

Well, it works when I put in the effort.  Same goes for you.  I mean, I don’t know you, but if you are a writer, chances are you like the idea of things going as well as they went in Week One of Two of your project.  But then all hell breaks loose, the cat knocks your coffee over, the laundry is piled up and you aren’t sure if those are your kids or booger encrusted demons. You’ve got nothing accomplished save a pile of tissues inundated with your own tears instead of the tears of your enemies.

Usually, my goals are: save money, lose ten pounds, build a race car, travel to another dimension, communicate telepathically with my cat…blah blah blah… you know, realistic goals.  But one thing always gets in the way: ME.

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How I do things:

  1. make outrageous, unattainable goal.
  2. fail to reach said goal.
  3. hate myself and commence drowning in a pool of chocolate, self-loathing and my own damn tears.

This year I do have some goals… mostly REALISTIC ONES but a few ridiculous ones at the end… you know, just in case.

One of my goals is to get published.  Yes!  Published as in an actual book with actual pages with actual words on them.

So this is how I set my goals THIS YEAR (and the last few years):

  • GET PUBLISHED
    • write a book
    • edit book
    • rewrite until a finished, polished work is complete.
    • research agents and publishers
    • submit queries
  • GET IN SHAPE
    • Commit to gym 5 days a week
    • 30 minutes minimum cardio 7 days a week
    • strength training 5 days a week
    • eat good foods/drink a lot of water (100 oz daily)
  • STAY ORGANIZED
    • if it doesn’t have a place it is dead to me.
    • throw out all junk mail/mail/inserts/coupons 
    • magazines: throw out all old issues (or donate somewhere)
    • clothes: throw out anything I haven’t worn in a year.
  • GET FINANCES STRAIGHT
    • Pay down all debt by paying $20 extra a month on payments
    • DO NOT use credit cards
    • Set up automatic payments on all bills (I am almost at 100% with this)
    • Keep separate checking accounts and STOP transferring money!
  • READ 100 BOOKS in 2017
    • No need for bullet points on this one, really.  My goal is to read 100 books this year no matter what.  All kinds of books: thriller/suspense (my fave!); memoirs (my other fave!); self-help; horror; romances (not really my thing, but I’ll give it a shot).
  • Also, win the lottery, buy a nice cabin in the woods and never have to work a regular job again.

I have faith in myself that I can do all this. The ones in boldface are the ones I really need to stay diligent with.  The one in blood red, bold, italic, underline is my MAIN NUMBER ONE GOAL FOR THE F**KING YEAR.  If I am not stressed about money and bills, I can focus on other important things.

Have you given any thought to goals for 2017?  How do you list your goals? 

Is Space Important?

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To space or not to space? That is the question.

And no, I don’t mean one or two spaces between sentences in your manuscript (this is a real dilemma, honestly). I am talking about your space.  Your spot away from the hustle and bustle of families, pets, coworkers, and idiots with whom we share the road (nice turn signal, jerk!).  Yes, sometimes we want to crawl under our desk, or maybe into the linen closet (maybe with some NyQuil – it’s not really booze, right?) and just die forever and ever sleep until we wake up and all the stress is gone and we feel refreshed and fuzzy and… wait.

Everything is exactly as it was before I went into my NyQuil induced coma.  Only now the kids and cat are covered in flour and feces.

Mother*&*$*^!

Ok.  Since NyQuil induced comas (and binge drinking our problems away) are frowned upon (and make things sh*tty – sometimes literally), the next best thing is to find a place to escape.  However, if you can’t hop on a plane or a cruise ship to a desert island or a mountain retreat after giving your co-workers and family the one finger salute, the next best thing is to create your own personal resort at home.

How?

Well, after you duct tape and/or hogtie everyone, throw them in the basement for at least ten minutes of silence (until they start screaming from below – clearly unaware of the rules of detention!) and emerge from your NyQuil fog, here are some tips:

  1. Find a spot, preferably with a door that closes… if not, just make sure you let the demon spawn and others in the domicile know that closed door means no engagement (unless the house is on fire – then, maybe).
  2. If you have hobbies or are working on a project (book, art, music, human dissection) this is the place to set up.  A nice desk, table or slab is perfect for the elements of your future braingasms to spill out into creation.
  3. Make it your own!  Do you like flowers?  How about music? Retro band posters (I have a giant Slayer poster on my wall) are awesome.  Or maybe posters of roadkill… it really is all up to personal preference.

Once you figure out what your needs are, how to get a spot (even if it is a corner in the kitchen or basement) and make your personal boundaries clear to others, your creative muse will thank you. I believe space is important to most.  It is important to me and if you grew up having to share a room with a sibling (or a future serial killer) it is probably important to you! 🙂

As an introvert and borderline recluse, I enjoy having my own space to retire and unwind from the hustle, bustle and breathing of others. There are only so many grocery lines, coffee shops and parking lots I can handle on a given day.

Below are some pictures of my creaticave.

Good luck to you! And for Pete’s sake, remember to untie your family (duct tape removal optional) so they can eat (through a straw) or use the bathroom.

Blessed Be.