When I was new in sobriety and going to my outpatient group along with attending four or five AA meetings a week, I heard “people, places and things” a lot. When I was out drinking, using and being a degenerate, my people, places and things were drug dealers, bars and excuses to give me the fuel to drink or use more.
My very first time in an attempt to get sober was in January of 2005. Now, my reasons for wanting to get clean and sober were inwardly pathetic. I told my dad I did not want to get high or drunk anymore. He said, “Darlene, is this an attempt to detox so it won’t take so much to get drunk or high?” “Of course not, Dad. I really mean it!” So on New Year’s Day in 2005 my dad drove me up to Livengrin in Bensalem, PA and dropped me off to detox for four days.
Now, when I went in there, my dad was right on the money. That was exactly why I wanted to go to detox. But after being in there and getting weaned off of opiates and detoxing from alcohol and spending time with people who had it far worse than I did, I changed my mind. I really did want to get clean and sober.
After four days in detox, I got out and felt refreshed. I had a roommate who lived in Bucks County (I was living in Philadelphia at the time) and we exchanged numbers so we could hit a meeting in a couple of days.
I went to an AA meeting with her; it was the only AA meeting I attended in 2005. My dealer lived right down the street from me and I knocked on her door about seven days after I had gotten out of detox, told her I just got out of detox and asked her if she had anything. She looked at me stupefied. Looking back, I do not blame her.
See, people, places and things are huge in recovery. I am not saying that everyone that goes into recovery or treatment or gets clean and sober should move, change their name and paint their dog, but it is a good idea to be aware of triggers (people, places and things).
How I avoided people, places and things:
1) I moved. This is not possible for everyone, but it helped me.
2) For the first few months of my sobriety, I avoided passing establishments (places) I previously frequented.
3) I worked on what my triggers were and went to great lengths to recognize them; not embellish them and use them as an excuse to drink.
For those who cannot move, I suggest building a strong sober network and keeping in touch with those people. Addicts and alcoholics still active in their addiction/alcoholism feel resentful at those trying to get sober. And while they will not necessarily try to drag someone down who is trying to get clean and sober, they will not exactly be on your cheering squad.
I have a friend I used to get high with and had coffee with him a couple of times after being new in sobriety. I could not figure out why I had an awful knot in my stomach and wanted to get high each time I was in his presence.
Thankfully, I had a great sponsor and was in outpatient therapy at the time (both of these helped me greatly) that gave me the tools to recognize that he was a “people” and I needed to cut ties for a while.
Do you have any people, places or things that trigger you into bad behavior?
- Recovery #1 (sallytudor.wordpress.com)
- What Four Years Brings (unomeasdug.wordpress.com)
- Book of Dreams: Party would uplift spirits of Clean & Sober members (sacbee.com)