One Foot in Front of the Other

Me on the AT 2020 ©All Rights Reserved.

Hey. How are you? I’m living the dream and doing some serious soul searching. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Where do I go from here? All deep questions that I have contemplated for the last several months. I feel disconnected although my deep connection with nature is strong when I am out in it.

I ordered some more supplies to do longer hikes. I might start with just one overnight and see how that feels. I know there are people who have never hiked in their lives and completed the WHOLE AT and now have popular YouTube Channels and give great advice (I’m looking at you Dixie of Homemade Wanderlust).

I often wonder what more I could contribute to life since there are so many people living now that make great contributions… Like, what could I add? I think I could really add the aspect of my perspective – which is a sober one. Other than that, I have no idea. Still searching on that one.

I know I am tired. I am almost through with realtor school and then I will study and take my test. According to most, it is a thankless job that only pays a commission, but my plan is to use it to go in different directions. Again, we’ll see.

I have hiked many points on the PA part of the AT. Probably a good 230 miles of it is in PA and I have hiked roughly 60 of those miles in various places. It’s been sorta chilly and we have been leaving later than I like to, so we don’t see many critters, just lots of mushrooms and other hikers. Also, many overlooks… I can’t lie, I have wondered what it would be like to just ‘accidentally tumble down one.’ but then I put that thought right out of my head. Suicidal ideation is something I have dealt with for decades. I don’t talk about it because who wants to listen to that? So, I just post a happy quote up on my Facebook page every morning and fake it ’til I make it.

This coming weekend I am hoping for nice weather. I’m not sure about doing any sections of the AT this weekend – I might skip it. There are some parks I really want to explore like WORLD’S END STATE PARK. We drove through it once, but my daughter hiked there a few weeks ago and it looks fun.

If you feel like giving up, just keep moving. Look for something, anything to hold onto. There is always something… a loved one, a pet, a book, a memory, anything. ❤ Keep on keeping on.