Bewildered

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Bewildered. Floored. Muddled. Thunderstruck. You get the gist.

That is me since I released my first publication in December 2017. Now, to be fair, only .000000001% of the world population even knows I exist and when you look at those numbers, the fact that ten people bought ebooks, 37 people downloaded free copies and 3 people bought physical copies (I bought the other ten) is pretty effing good. It’s even better since I absolutely suck at self-promotion. I always feel like I am annoying people, being a nag… you know, like a gnat only bigger.

Bzzzzz………………………..

I just need to get this idea out of my head that I annoy people when I tweet, FB, Pinterest, Google+, or LinkedIn a link to my book. I think I also need to realize I am comparing myself and my stats to other people and I need to stop doing that. Like, now.

And I don’t mean poets like Maya Angelou or Emily Dickenson (is there any comparison, really?); more like poets I see on Amazon in the same category as me. But I have to put it in perspective to keep my sanity. Who the hell knows how long their books have been for sale? I mean, who the hell do I think I am? My book has literally been available for nine weeks.

There are so many doors of opportunity for me and patience, hard work, and determination will help me get through whichever I choose. That I know. I cannot give up.

When I first started this blog/site in 2007, it was actually called The Daily Woman and it was my daily posts about how to do great things. I did that about a year despite my lack of commitment along with my severe lack of networking and marketing skills. No one was interested in anything I had to say.

So, I made it a blog about addiction and kept the name. Despite the fact that there are hundreds if not thousands of blogs and websites about addiction, my story was unique. So I shared my journey through addiction and sobriety with everyone. I stuck with that a while and met some really great people that I maintain friendships with today. But like I said, everyone was talking about it and in such a dynamic way, my site was basically just a “Living Sober” testament that it could be done.

Then, I just stopped. For a good two years. I went outside, stretched in the sunlight, and broke up with my boyfriend of six years after I realized how toxic he was.

But I still had to write. I couldn’t not write.

So I made DAMSWriter after a great presentation I watched by Jeff Goins. And here I am. Still sober, still goofy, and still writing.

Maybe my bewilderment is based on fear… I mean, I let most of myself out in my writing, but I have yet to let all of me out in my writing. What would that look like? Should I really write the same way I journal? Hmmm…

I am working on the second book of poetry – not giving up! Also, still working on Consequences, which I hope everyone will love as much as I do. ❤

Thank you to every single person who bought or downloaded a free copy of Poetry Through Darkness. It truly means so much to me! You all rock.

via Daily Prompt: Bewildered

Image: Pixabay

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/bewildered/

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Author: D. A. M. Steelman

I could get through life just fine quoting heavy metal lyrics.

4 thoughts on “Bewildered”

  1. I feel like just about every emotion that can be perceived as negative is fear-based in one way or another. Usually if we can get to the underside of the emotion and examine the fear behind it, it makes it easier to process and move past the initial emotion. That’s my armchair psychological view, anyway. I have similar feelings when I “promote” my writing and/or photography through Facebook and Instagram, but I keep doing it anyway! 🙂 Keep writing! I look forward to reading more of your work.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey there! Thank you so much for stopping by. You make a lot of sense… I think that may be the ticket… I can write about why I am so fearful and see where that goes. Maybe that will knock down a wall or two. Thank you! ❤

    Like

  3. Clarity can come from unusual places, can’t it? Your writing is wonderful. Don’t let ANYONE or ANYTHING come between you and what you love to do. You are vibrant and wonderful to read. I look forward to more write ups 🙂

    Like

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