I Confess!

 

Today’s word is confess which is perfect for an end of year rambling or musing. Have you ever gone to an actual confession? Have you been inside a Catholic church amidst the beauty of stained glass and statues to step inside the confessional and sit opposite a priest only separated by a screen and self-loathing? I have not had the pleasure. Or maybe the agony? I suppose it depends upon the outcome. My ex-mother-in-law was big on Catholic Shame and confession, so anything I learned about it was mostly from her incessant crazed kitchen table sermons.

At the end of the year, I do an inventory of my thoughts, actions, deeds, etc. This probably seems arrogant and for me to write about it, even more, pretentious. But I do it for a reason and that reason is that I need to know if I am a better or worse version of myself that before. Does that make sense?

 

It takes some serious honesty and since there was a time in my life when that word made my skin crawl like a vampire in sunlight, it is exciting. I like being honest with myself and I know when I am and when I’m not.

I confess!

I haven’t kept the clutter in the house at the minimum I wanted to and it is a little out of control. I have this awful habit of letting junk mail and magazines and papers pile up to a ridiculous amount. It isn’t Hoarders worthy, but it gets pretty absurd and it drives my husband nuts. Sometimes I do catch it in time and as I throw most of it away, I always think, “why do I always do this? I throw it away every damn time. Why don’t I save myself the trouble and the clutter and just get rid of it in the first place?”

What do I need to hold on to so bad? I don’t.

I made a point of telling myself that this coming year will be different as I am starting to get rid of all the junk before the first day of 2018.  I am checking off to-do lists before that fateful day of cleaned out refrigerators, overstuffed gyms, and such.

I’ll let you know how it goes!

Do you go to confession? 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/confess/

By the way, Poetry Through Darkness is now available on Amazon!

Poetry Through Darkness