Delivery Girl


Image: Vector Graphics

I got sober in 2006 and was court mandated to go to outpatient treatment despite my self-propelled thrust into the world of clean and sober living. At the time I had no job, was living in someone’s basement and has just had my kids taken from me. My choices were either get clean or put a bullet in my head.


I learned a while ago that suicide is not an option for me. I had three failed attempts previously so I took that as a sign that I am needed on this planet for something.

I still haven’t figured out what.

So, while going to this outpatient group, the topic one night was an odd one and I wound up arguing with the group leader about it. “If you could get high without consequences, would you?’ and I delivered a stern “NO.”

“But there are no consequences,” he said.

“Um, yeah there are.”

“But I am telling you there aren’t any in this scenario.”

“There is no scenario without consequences. I can’t think like that. I can’t pretend there won’t be addiction peril if I get high.”

Anyway, he let it go, but I think a few other people caught on to what I was saying. While there are some things we can pretend and day dream about, using drugs and drinking recreationally is not one of them for an alcoholic addict. There will always be consequences. Trying to imagine a life without them is deadly.

So, next door to this treatment center was a Pep Boys warehouse and there was a sign in the window:


Hell yeah!

I walked in, spoke with the manager for a few minutes,  and was hired on the spot. 🙂

The highlight of that entire experience was that they wanted me to take a drug test. It may seem odd that I would be excited over something like that, but I hadn’t passed a drug test for three years prior to then for any job I went for except for a potential position at the IRS. Despite passing that drug test, I had used immediately following it and overslept for my first day of orientation for that keen IRS position that could have changed my life when I still lived in Philly.

So I got my job as an auto parts delivery person and my excitement was palpable. I got to drive for a living and even though I was only making two dollars over minimum wage at the time, it was liberating to work again and earn my own money.

That job led me to where I work now as an administrative assistant at an accounting firm. I have been here for ten years, and still get to deliver packages (paperwork) to clients. Still, I am eyeballing bigger ventures. I have been here eight years too long and it is time for me to take a leap of faith.

Author: D. A. M. Steelman

I could get through life just fine quoting heavy metal lyrics.

7 thoughts on “Delivery Girl”

  1. That counselor made that statement for a reason..and you gave the exact answer needed at the time. Good for you! So many in recovery simply do not get it and would have started fantasizing about how much they could use. The very fact that you argued with him (which is exactly what he wanted, by the way) showed him, and everyone else there, just how important your recovery was to you. Sorry, but the former ADC just flows out of me sometimes. After years my counselor hat just seems to attach itself to my head without permission!


  2. I understand this was based on a writing prompt, but this IS nonfiction yes? I’m sober and I deliver for a living as well.

    Every job has it’s negative moments, but delivery is by far the best job I’ve had, both for me AND my writing. It grants me the ability to earn more than the absolute necessities for living without sapping me of all my energy and suffocating my writer’s spirit. All ten of my publication acceptances have come while working pizza delivery.

    Oh and of course there’s the free pizza. So much pizza.

    Dear pizza: I love you so incredibly much. *Sniffle*


    1. Hey there… yes! I do use prompts for some of my nonfiction. That is awesome you got publication acceptances while delivering pizza! Plus…. free pizza?! And you’re sober, which is the coolest part of all. So glad you stopped by and commented…


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