A raw emotion that sucks the life out of us, anger is a byproduct of one of the two core motions: hate. The other core emotion is love, but that does not apply here. Oh yes, people will cry “anger!” in the name of love, but alas nothing could be further from the truth. I read a lot of self-help books and (as you know) attend meetings to help me in my recovery from alcohol. One of the emotions touched on a lot is anger.Internal anger: that rage you feel when you perceive an injustice. Oh how could they do this to me! Those bastards! You get that knot in your stomach, your heart races and it takes all your mental strength not to resort to tactics of passive aggressive neanderthalism. Now, for a drama junkie (or a former one like yours truly) this is prime pickings for digging deep down in the crevices of justification so the gnashing teeth of self-righteousness can prevail. And if you are a true alcoholic or have anger management issues, this leads to external anger.
External Anger: not always beating the crap out of someone. External anger comes in the form of violence (against others and/or self-harm), breaking things, driving recklessly and silent scorn. External anger stems from unchecked internal anger. Think about it. If you weren’t so pissed off inside, you wouldn’t feel compelled to exude physical forms of anger.
There are a lot of ways to deal with that seething, inner rage:
- count to ten or twenty.
- go for a brisk walk.
- write (careful with this one – it can keep you in the anger).
- find a place (alone) to scream, yell and cry.
- listen to music.
After you’ve calmed down, if you’re angry with someone, and you’re able to talk it out, be sure to come from an “I” place and not an accusatory “you” place.
How do you handle anger?
- Why is anger the most problematic emotion? (ask.metafilter.com)
- Common Connections Between Alcohol and Anger Management Issues (alcoholism.answers.com)