This post was originally called “Righteousness – The Road to Misery” but I changed it last-minute. Resentment and righteousness go hand in hand, really. After all, I can’t feel resentful if I am not feeling righteous. Not to mention, resentment is the number one thing that sends alcoholics and addicts back to a drink or drug no matter how long they have been sober.
I stated in an earlier post how angry I was as a child. This anger brewed inside me as the decades of my life passed. Realistically, anger for me was always resentment. I resented:
- my parents
- my looks
- being poor
- perceived wrongs
- other people
The list went on for pages. Then, when I got sober, I was still resentful at everyone and everything. Sure, I was floating on the pink cloud of newfound freedom from drugs and alcohol. It was great waking up feeling good – not hung over or dope sick. But I still had all that resentment and it was eating away at my soul like cancer.
After my pink cloud dissipated into the sun of real life, I was still left with all that resentment! What to do… how about a Fourth Step? The Fourth Step works and continues to work today. See, in all my resentment, anger, jealousy.. etc, I played a part! I couldn’t believe that. I mean, how the hell could I play a part in the way my ex-husband treated me years ago or any of the other “injustices” dumped on me?
It was simple and with the help of my sponsor I figured it out. These days, if I feel resentful I kind of sit in it for a little while (I’m a good alcoholic) but then I really have to do a quick inventory, give it to God and let it go. This makes for happier days.
How do you handle your resentments?
Related articles
- Is there righteous anger ever? (teachingsofmasters.wordpress.com)
- April 9, 2013 – Step by Step (cmmacneil.wordpress.com)
- Remember . . . (jacobglass.typepad.com)
I get physical. Go for a walk, hula-hoop, just keep moving. Good post. Nice to meet you on the A to Z.
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read m and r today, glad I visited. Saturday is usually the only time I can realistically read other blogs and ‘catch up’ and check in. yours is always on the list, I am glad I did. I have a bit of Resentment and Mad in my life too, being poor or poorer than the folks I wanted to hang with… the trouble is I was looking at their lives through rose colored glasses and my perceptions of their lives was way off. Now as an adult, I realize that we are all pretty much in the same boat – some have more, some have less, but it was what YOU do with it that makes the difference. I can choose. We all can choose. It looks like you made the choice to move forward and look ahead, keep going.
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Although I never really had to deal with addictions, I had to deal with a lot of resentment before I could really take control of my life.
Because the thing is, if I went on blaming other and resenting them for my life, I would just be stuck living in the past instead of moving forward.
Nowadays, I also take stock as soon as possible and give it over to God. Because this is one cycle I never want to repeat.
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