I – Inconsistency – The Backbone of Failure

rhizoming the plan of consistency . .Inconsistency should really be my middle name.  Throughout my life, I have been inconsistent about everything: work, family, kids, money and even hobbies.  I don’t know if I have untreated A.D.H.D. or if I am just inherently lazy, but this crap has plagued me since I was little.  I get all gung-ho about something and then a day, week or a month floats by and I say, “Wow, this is pretty f’ing boring.” Other times, I purposely refrain from proceeding, perhaps in an attempt to self-sabotage.  I’m really good at that.

Inconsistency is the main ingredient in any recipe for failure.  For me, not writing 500 words a day leads to no published novel (hell, not even a final draft!) along with many other unfulfilled dreams and aspirations that I could have if I just remained consistent.  I could sit here and make tons of excuses as to my lack of motivation, my screaming inconsistency and my lazy ways, but that’s just it.  They are excuses.

What I am consistent with: my program and abstaining from alcohol and drugs.  Please know that I am not bragging.  It isn’t set in stone that “I got this” when it comes to my recovery from alcoholism/addiction.  I see it too much in the places I go… people I care about falling off the wagon or never quite grasping the concept.  Maybe they did have the concept but for whatever reason, decided to “try to drink successfully.”  I can honestly say I have not seriously entertained taking a drink or drug in these past years… even when those silly, glamorized booze commercials come on the television or I watch a movie with blatant drug use.  I do get those little tummy knots sometimes when I watch something like that, but that’s my cue.  “Turn it off, Darlene.  Nothing to see here.”

By the Grace of God, I will have seven clean & sober years on May 26, 2013.

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Author: D. A. M. Steelman

I could get through life just fine quoting heavy metal lyrics.

7 thoughts on “I – Inconsistency – The Backbone of Failure”

  1. Congratulations, I’m a ‘May baby’ too. Until I got sober, the 12 step programme was the only thing I did consistently too. Now I’m sober I have no excuse. All these things take practice, I’m more consistent now than I’ve ever been.

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  2. That’s amazing. I think you’re pretty consistent, all of the other areas that you’re beating yourself up over have some wiggle-room. This sobriety thing–you’re pretty damn consistent. Congratulations of your achievements 🙂

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  3. Congrats on your sobriety. That is wonderful and something you should brag about. Shout it out to the world. It will help you stay focused. I wish you all the success of the world moving forward. You’re doing the right thing, turn off the tv, leave any unsafe place. Prayers for you! ~~ Emmly Jane

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