I was working with one of my sponsors a few weeks ago, and she told me this phrase. I almost fell out of my chair. There are a few acronyms for “FEAR” such as: F*ck Everything And Run and Face Everything And Recover. But… False Evidence Appearing Real is the one that works best for me. I have a lot of fear in everything I do. Or should I say, everything I don’t do. Fear holds me back in many decisions. Is that why I am so damn indecisive?
There have been times I felt the fear and did it anyway. Like, the first time I rode a motorcycle, or a roller coaster, or stood up for myself in junior high school when I got in a fist fight. There was definitely a lot of fear in those instances, but I did it anyway. Ok, maybe getting in a fist fight is not the best example… The point is, I felt the fear and pushed through it.
A lot of us as children were afraid of the dark. I remember when I was a little girl, I was afraid of my closet. I swore to everything that there was a monster waiting to eat me. The false evidence was the creeks from behind the closet door. The fear appeared real because I believed it. I would jump up and turn the light on, go look inside the closet and hey… no monster! Imagine that. The false evidence had appeared very real.
I am going through a major life change in the next six weeks. I decided I need to leave my boyfriend. We met in recovery a couple of months after I got sober. He has done a lot for me and we have been through some great times. But I see the big picture and it is pretty blank. I won’t go into the sordid details (although it would make for some interesting reading). Let’s just leave it in the “we grew apart” ditch.
Fear is absolutely a healthy emotion in certain situations.
So I have to be out by December 1st! How will I do it? Who the hell knows… I have faith in God, in my program and in myself that I will pull through this.
Have you ever pushed through the fear? How did you overcome? Share your thoughts and stories below!