May 26, 2006 was my first sober day. It was two days before my eldest daughter’s sixteenth birthday. Saturday I celebrated six years! It has been a roller coaster of emotions, trials, experiences, ups, downs and all-arounds.
I can’t say it was easy all the time. The first three months were the “pink cloud” of getting clean and sober. It’s the cloud of high hopes we talk about in the rooms, groups and such. We all hop on the cloud and say things like “this is so great! I’ll never pick up again!” and we all mean it. I meant it.
I remember in one group, the counselor asked everyone “if you could have your drug/drink of choice without any consequences, would you drink/use?” A few people answered and said, “yes!” “absolutely!” “hell yeah!”
When the question came to me, I answered “no.” The counselor said, “but you have no consequences.” I said, “that is not a hypothetical I want to talk about, because it’s bullshit. I will always have consequences if I pick up.”
I guess I thought, if I start talking in hypothetical mumbo jumbo so early in my recovery, I won’t make it. And I had to make it. If I didn’t make it, I would die.
These days, my worst day sober is better than my best day drunk or high. I have learned so much about myself I continue to be amazed of what I am capable of! I love to push the limits as I travel my journey never knowing what the next day holds.
And I do it One Day At A Time.
My ROW80 Goals/Progress are as follows!
- continue to edit manuscript (I am making headway!)
- AA meeting Tuesday night!
- get back into Flash Fiction Friday (I just haven’t had any ideas!)
- Triberr three times a week to share posts.
- Read a book! (I have so many waiting – I haven’t decided yet)
That is my goal list for the week. How is everyone else coming along? Hope you are enjoying the holiday weekend!