Friday Flash Fiction – Vampeeble… The Priceless Weeble

“Stupid, stupid,” I said as I stood on the curb in rain-soaked clothes. I had to get to the Weeble Extravaganza before that mean old bitty Rachie did.  I couldn’t let her get the best Weeble of all!  I know she wanted to get that special vampire Weeble that we both had our hearts on.  No way!  That Vampeeble is mine!  There is a tale that goes with the Vampeeble.  Whoever possesses the rare Weeble, has unlimited power and wealth.  Apparently, I can make anyone do anything if I possess Vampeeble!

Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down!

I was finally going to beat Rachie at her own silly game.  Ever since we were little girls she always one upped me.  When I got my special blue dress with the two rows of ruffles on it for the sixth grade dance, she got a blue dress with four ruffles.  When I started dating Ricky, she told him lies about me and then dated him! When I got my first car, a little 1972 yellow Beetle Bug, she got a 1974 Beetle Bug, also yellow but with a big daisy painted on the trunk.

Well, my yellow Beetle died just yesterday and her Beetle is still very much alive.  At this moment, I am on the corner of her street waiting for her to come out her door. As soon as she does I am going to chat her up then hit her over the head and steal her Beetle! I know it sounds crazy, but the Vampeeble is very important to me.

“Hey, Renee,” a voice said from behind me. It was Rachie!  What? I had to look natural.

I turned and waved, “Hey, Rachie, what’s up?” Man, the rain is really coming down now.

“I didn’t see you at the Weeble Extravaganza last week.  It’s too bad, you know?  They had two Vampeebles.  Two! I could hardly stand it.  They were only fifty dollars each.  I got them both and -” she was pulling something out of her pocket.

Did she say, last week? “You greedy wench!” I screamed.  I saw the bus coming out of the corner of my eye.  I planned it perfectly.  I watched her smile beam on her face as she pulled two Vampeebles out of her pocket. She held them out, taunting me with her dumb smile.

I pushed her in front of the bus as it careened down the street. WHACK! The bus smacked her right off her feet and the Weebles flew into the air.  I had to get the Weebles!  I stretched my arms out as far as they would go.  As if by fate, the Weebles landed right in my hands! Oh happy joy.

I turned to run down the street, and was met with a second bus.  I forgot about the second bus! “Stupid, stupid,” I shouted as the Weebles dropped out of my hand and down the sewage drain in the street.

There we lay, two gals in the middle of the street.  We were Vampeeble-less and I had a broken leg.  I flipped over and began to crawl toward the sewer.  Tears streamed my face as pain shot up my body.  I had to have the Vampeebles.

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Author: D. A. M. Steelman

I could get through life just fine quoting heavy metal lyrics.

12 thoughts on “Friday Flash Fiction – Vampeeble… The Priceless Weeble”

  1. Hahaha! As one who was dragged to countless garage sales and witness equally countless fights over the items there, this does so resonate with me. While making me giggle, and be grateful the number of like displays I’m apt to see going forward is very, very small. 😉

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  2. I thought Rachie with her dying breath was going to say, “I bought one for you…” Lately at the second hand store it has felt this way. I have never seen it so busy in my life as I have seen the last 6 months or so. They have a special sale day on Sundays and everyone looks like they got straight out of bed and would fight you for whatever it is they are wanting. Cute story.

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  3. I guess I was just hoping too much for a happy ending (though it probably wouldn’t have fit the MC, I could see Rachie having never thought of herself as having outdone the MC all the time), and so, like Morgan said, I would have loved Rachie to be horrified by the attack (and get clear of the bus just in time). She would have shouted something along the line of “what is wrong with you? I was going to ask if you wanted one, and you’re trying to kill me over s stupid toy?”

    I mean, really… No one learns a damned thing when they’re dead. (or do they?) 😉

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    1. Rachie was pulling the second Vampeeble out of her pocket when Renee pushed her.. I probably could have made that clearer… this story was done in one draft because I forgot I didn’t schedule one!

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      1. Oh, I got that part, Darlene. But because of the way the words were phrased, it wasn’t clear if Rachie was trying to be nice or to flaunt. (my guess is she was trying to be nice and never realized that Renee was irritated with her all this time…)

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