“I saw you in the window today, you looked good,” Reflection said.
“Really? I thought I looked like hell myself.”
“Oh, come on, you’re being too hard on yourself,” Reflection said.
“I speak the truth. I am ugly and I am stupid. There is no getting around it. I mean, why else would Daddy leave?” I said.
“Daddy left because he is a loser. Daddy doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. He’s a freaking crackhead,” Reflection was starting to piss me off.
“True. But still. All my friends have their dads and they are all pretty.”
“You really need to stop this. You’re being ridiculous. Do you talk like this to other people? Like, do you tell other people they are ugly or stupid or lazy?” Reflection had a point.
“No. I am nice to everyone but me. I laugh at everyone’s jokes. I tell other people how great they are or how pretty they look. Sometimes people say nice things to me.”
“I know. And what do you say?” Reflection was getting angry.
“I brush it off. I deflect it. I make excuses. I feel like I don’t deserve nice stuff, you know? I don’t deserve compliments or praise. I’m so dumb.”
“Stop. Just stop. Just for today I want you to tell me one nice thing. Maybe your eyes. You have very pretty eyes. They have little green flecks in them. Did you know that?”
“Yes. I did know that. My eyes are pretty, aren’t they?”
“Be nice to yourself today. Just for today,” Reflection said. What else could I do? I owed it to Reflection.
I owed it to myself to be as nice to me as I was to everyone else. Reflection showed me how pretty I was, how great my hair looked or my happy eyes and I just tore Reflection down. Every day I looked at Reflection and said nasty mean things. I would never talk to anyone else like that. How could I talk to Reflection like that when Reflection was a piece of me?
I think if I am nicer to Reflection, I will be nicer to myself.
Yeah, that sounds like a good start.