Noodles lived in a decent part of the city. His wife left him five years ago for a circus clown named Rickety Randy the Rolling Roundhouse. Noodles couldn’t figure it out. The ostentatious Rickety. He would purposely wear a purple beep nose just to show everyone else up at the circus with their plain red noses. Oh, and that flower that squirted Chardonnay. What was he thinking? Frigging loser. Everyone knew he squirted the flower wine into his own mouth because he was such a drunken lush. He would beep his nose and squirt the flower at least every twenty-seven seconds. The clown of clowns was falling down drunk in an hour. Turned out he had a hose to a plastic pack riding his back filled with his juice.
A freaking drunk clown! Noodles was mortified. Noodles swore revenge on Randy, but never got the chance. Rickety Randy had been at a main gig at a two ring circus in Burgboro. His only job was to arm/paw wrestle Turdster the Tiger while simultaneously playing catch with a six hundred pound bear named Scuttles. Turned out Scuttles and Turdster had a deep-seated hatred for each other and amidst the paw fight between the two, Rickety slipped on Tiger drool and broke his neck. Turdster and Scuttles took turns eating Rickety much to the absolute horror of the crowd.
To this day Noodles sends his ex-wife a subscription to Circus Animals Weekly each year.
*I am sitting in my office on my lunch at the moment. Where did the idea for a drunken clown love trio come from? I couldn’t tell you. Thank heavens I use writing to get these morbid ideas out!*