Life: A Memoir of Embarrassing Moments

So….. I have been told by many people that my life has been interesting.  Well, mostly my children have told me this.  And I also noticed, that for every story someone has I have a counter story that is much, much better.

I bought a book six or so months ago about “How To Write Your Life Story” or some crap like that.  I read through most of it (I get through most of anything).  In the book they said “everyone’s life can be turned into a memoir.” I don’t think I necessarily agree with that.  There are certain people I wouldn’t really dig reading about, just as I am sure there are many people who wouldn’t dig reading about my life events.

And there there is the fame factor.

Like, if I wrote, “Today I had tuna on toast but decided to leave the crusts on because my horoscope said live on the edge” people would be like, “Wow. Lame.”

Buuut.. if say, Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue fame or Beyonce ate the same thing that day and blogged or tweeted about it or even threw it in an exclusive tell all book.. “This Is What I EAT!” people would be buying out the tuna and bread on the grocery aisle shelves.

I’m not sure why things go the way they do.  I just know that they go.

When I sit down to really think about it… I have had quite an interesting ride so far.  I have many stories that not only would be entertaining to people… but I really think people could get something out of them.  Kind of like, “wow I need to remember to never do that.  Ever.”

A couple of examples:

  • Never throw a cigarette butt in a trash can under a tree .. especially if the can is filled with paper.
  • When you’re seven, don’t put toothpaste on your eyelids. In fact, never do that at any age.
  • Listen to your grandmother when she tells you to never leave your drink unattended.  You could almost wind up dead somewhere.
  • If you really have to pee, just go to the bathroom.  Don’t stand in the classroom doing the wiggle jiggle dance while the teacher talks and ignores you.  The end result is embarrassing.

These are just a few instances that are fond memories of my past.  Ok, not 100% fond, but I lived through them and came out a stronger person for it.

Got any great stories? 😀

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Author: D. A. M. Steelman

I could get through life just fine quoting heavy metal lyrics.

6 thoughts on “Life: A Memoir of Embarrassing Moments”

  1. lmao, love those little anecdotes! I am trying to write my life story at the moment, it’s hard going and very emotional, but I hope to get it finished soon! Good luck with yours 🙂

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  2. I feel your pain on this one!

    My list?

    1) Never agree to walk home with a bunch of guys. You will climb more fences then you will ever care to admit your entire life
    2) Never write your opinions down on a piece of paper – especially when it’s trashing a specific person. Never do it twice.
    3) It’s a good idea not to run up to something when it’s rained/snowed. Your teeth might be knocked out.

    Oh the list could go on! Ha ha…

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  3. How about don’t set a plastic blag next to the stove while making Mac and cheese. When it catches fire and you grab it, molten plastic will drip on your arm. It hurts. Oh, I have many more stories to tell, and here’s a tip: Nair Should be used ONLY for leg and underarm hair. That is all…

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