Not Here

 

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Image: Pixabay

I don’t think anyone in my family – immediate or extended – has ever gotten an inheritance. We’ve been poor all our lives and despite this, have always remained in good spirits.

 

I have often wished I¬†had a rich ancestor somewhere that left me millions. I sure as hell wouldn’t be buying a mansion and jewels.

This is what I’d do with my inheritance:

  • pay off my debt
  • invest
  • give to animal charities and abused people charities
  • buy a large plot of land
  • build a modest log cabin
  • start an animal rescue
  • help people
  • buy books from struggling authors

That’s just a start.

What would you do if you got an inheritance?

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/inheritance/

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I Put My Poetry on KDP

Well, I did it! Available January 1, 2018, is my first installment of poetry. Some of them are from this blog, but most of them are brand spanking new! I am so excited that I’m not sure whether I am going to pass out, vomit, or cry myself into oblivion. There was no way of knowing how terrifying this would feel until I did it, but it’s too late now. I can’t turn back.

 

 

My novel is still in edits and getting this book of poetry published helps me keep my ass in gear. I am hoping that my first official novel to be published will be out by June 2018. In the meantime, why not enjoy some other work? ūüôā

I’m so brand new at this thing that I am taking it super slow. The book will only be available through KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) until I can figure the rest out. People have asked me if there will be a print copy, and there will be in the future. I can also make it print on demand, too.

Well, you don’t know how deep the water is until you jump in, right?

Happy Wednesday!

Theory of Doubt

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Image: Pixabay

There is a threshold

That no longer cries

Amidst the darkness

Of despondent sighs

Forever is okay

If you’ve got nowhere to go

Angels were once sinners

On a dark and lonely road

Buckle up your sunshine

And pack it in your heart

Doubt your self a rainbow

Just be sure to start

As long as you’re going

Be sure to push on through

That makeshift smile you wear

Sure looks good on you…

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/theory/

Saintly Sinner

 

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Image: pixabay Рgeralt

Saintly.

We use that term when we speak of good deed doers, animal rescuers and people who keep their cool in Wal-Mart. But what about the saintly sinner? You know, humans that want to beat the ever living shit out of that asshole in Wal-Mart or impale the driver doing 35 in a 55 (this happened to me on my way to work today). Then maybe played the scenario out in vivid detail, and thought, “Is this jerk really worth ten years in prison with a seven-foot cellmate named Tiny?”

Saintly sinners are people just like you and me. They are not good deed doers per say, but they aren’t rotten bastards either. Saintly sinners are average people who go about their day not necessarily keeping tabs of all the good and bad shit they have done, but know that being a decent human – or at least trying like hell – can be a full-time job all its own in this day and age.

Saintly sinners are anti-heroes.

You know, those ten-dimensional characters¬†like John McClaine in Die Hard or Snake Plissken in Escape From New York. Sure they’re mouthy, dirty bad boys who ventured onto the left-hand path, but we love them despite their sinner ways; they’re our angels of redemption.

On the flip side of that, some people pretend to be saintly but are really demon spawn at a sickening level. The technical term for that person is the sociopathic narcissist, and though I have dealt with one version or the other in my life, the evilest combination of the two was my ex-mother-in-law. She would gorge herself on the pain of others. Some people call them emotional vampires, others call them toxic, but I just wound up calling her a crazy b***h. The woman wasn’t happy unless she was witnessing/talking about/causing¬†someone’s pain.

I won’t go into it because she isn’t worth the weight of her memory, but she is included in my memoir. Sometimes we need to speak the devil’s name so we can put her in her proper place.

Saintly is the way

The sinners love to sleep

They gorge on your demons

With gentle little dreams

Their thoughts heavily fasten

To all that’s good and true

Then rip it from your soul

Like gorging sinners do

So wrap your dreams up tight

In a silky woven ball

Wash them in starlight

And let them gently fall

via Daily Prompt: Saintly

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/gorge/

*I had the wrong prompt. This post may be a lame attempt at recovery, but I had to give it a shot!

Relocate or Rearrange

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Image: searchhomesinnashville.com

 

There is a fresh feeling in starting over. Shucking the dead weight of the past can invigorate and inspire.

Despite moving many times into new places, or new neighborhoods and towns, it took me a while to understand that relocating didn’t change anything for me. Sometimes, it made things worse.

I finally¬†realized that no matter where I went, there I was. Sure, things were good for a while. However,¬†no matter how many times I paint over the bloodstain on the wall – it may be covered – it is still there. Just like my past. I didn’t learn until doing step work that holding onto all that shit was killing me and causing me to self-sabotage.

Dealing with¬†those ugly parts¬†properly so I didn’t have to keep moving when things got icky and uncomfortable was the key.¬†Since I have unlocked that door,¬†I have dealt with almost all of it that could be dealt with accordingly. Some things cannot be closed or handled. Maybe people die and so we’re left with¬†the wreckage¬†of our past. Sometimes, trying to amend a situation would make things worse for that person. So there are other ways to handle it. Maybe mail a letter to a bogus address with no return address. Maybe write it out and burn it, rip it up and throw it in the stream after you’ve read your letter aloud to the universe.

However it can be done, sometimes it is a necessary evil that when complete, feels like twelve pounds of dead weight had been lifted off your mind.

The last two times I have moved was not to run away from the past but to continue to build my life and my future with my husband and cat. My kids are grown now and have started lives for themselves.

It’s always okay to visit the past, just be sure not to move back there.

Blessed be.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/relocate/

relocate

The Zoo

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Image: Pixabay – Lucas FZ70

Once upon a time

When I was quite little

My mother took me to the zoo

Among bark, cold and brittle

We had to bundle up

For the air was quite chilly

We were off on an adventure

None of this seemed silly

The parking lot was packed with cars

As people filed through the turnstile

When I made it to the other side

My face and eyes did smile

There were critters everywhere

Some furry and big; some scaly and small

I stopped and stood for a time

When I approached the best one of all

I noticed it lying in the brush

Its fur was spotted in many spots

I heard it meow instead of roar

It was a beautiful ocelot.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/zoo/

Zoo